4 Steps to Feeling Good Enough

A theme that keeps coming up in my coaching is a fear that everyone has on some level, and that is that they aren’t good enough.

I call it the “not enough syndrome” and it manifests itself in different ways, usually starting with low quality of thoughts in response to an idea or opportunity.

Have you ever heard the voice in your head say something like “no, you won’t get chosen for that” or “there are people better than you so don’t even try” or some other version of “I’m not enough or worthy”?

These types of thoughts are very common and hold people back in all areas of life. They also cause people to lower their standards. If your standards aren’t high enough for the type of career you can have and money you can make, or for the quality of partner and relationships you attract, I’d like to invite you to consider why that little voice is holding you back. 

I believe the reason our minds give us these messages is not to hold us back, but to keep us safe. If you don’t try, then you can’t fail. You may not be happy or satisfied with where you are, but at least you’re safe staying right where you are. 

Its a primitive response, and it certainly works for keeping people safe. Unfortunately, it also keeps people stuck. If you relate and want to know how to overcome the “not enough syndrome”, try this…

1) Thank your brain for trying so desperately to keep you safe, and tell yourself that you may have needed it when you were a child, and now as an adult, what you need is to grow and feel progress.

2) Create a new “in-CAN-tation” to replace the “in-CANT-ation” and condition yourself to use it every time limiting thoughts pop up. For example, “Thanks. I AM enough/worthy!” or Thanks. I CAN and WILL!”  or “Thanks. I TRUST myself!” It may feel weird or phony at first but fake it until you make it!! Conditioning will help your brain reduce the number of fear responses.

3) Follow through. Don’t just say you can and then stay with fear-based actions. Increasing your trust in yourself and openness that you can succeed begins with taking action, regardless of the outcome.

4) If you try and fail, congratulate yourself! Some people never try and, therefore, never succeed. Some people, especially entrepreneurs, spend their whole life trying and failing and learning and, eventually, succeeding.

I am writing this as much for myself as for you. Sometimes, I defeat myself before getting started! However, now that I know its my brain trying to keep me safe, I can love it instead of fight it. What this really means is loving, and not fighting, myself.

Written by Chandra Lynn