Glow Circles Member Josh Hart Stopped Heroin and Started yogaffordable.com
Read Josh’s Journey and Check Out This Beautiful Resource for Recovering Souls Who Need a Bit of Light
As an adopted child growing up I always felt out of place, never fully in my skin. I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when I was born and for the first 5 years of my life I spent it in physical therapy. I became stronger and more flexible and unlike the doctors told my mother I did not end up in a wheelchair.
I became interested in music and dance and joined various theater programs which provided an outlet for self expression. I was molested when I was 14 by a backstage worker in one of my shows. It lasted for about 8 months until I finally found a way to speak up.
Over the next 10 years I struggled with heroin addiction to numb myself from the outside world. Slowly friends disappeared, Jobs let me go, and my bank account was reduced to zero. I sold my body for drugs and a place to sleep. For months I lived out of a backpack on the streets.
Then one night I met someone. Someone who didn’t want to use me like all the other men I tried to find safety in. This one didn’t want to hurt but wanted to help me. The love felt unconditional and soon I was left with a choice. I found myself having to choose between my old life style and new way, an honest way of life. This beautiful soul supported me through extreme withdrawal from the drugs cold turkey. But ultimately it was my willpower to change that got my through those very dark months.
It took about a solid year of 12 step meetings, weekly therapy, and exercise until I began to feel like myself again. I was able to address my pain and trauma that I had buried for so long. After working my 12th step I craved a better understanding of who I was. I wanted to go deeper, get connected to soul self that I had run away from. That’s when I found yoga.
I remember going to my first yoga class. Stepping on to my matt and creating an energy field of safety, protection, determination and most of all forgiveness. Yoga taught me how to surrender into the pain. To not be afraid of all the parts of my dark and light. That each part of me served a purpose. I learned how to fully accept myself as I am.
The philosophy of yoga teaches its practitioner to live by a set of principles, similar to the principles of the 12 steps. I began to adapt with these covenants of honestly, transparency, vulnerably, and the importance of service to others. The practice of this beautiful philosophy taught me that I can not keep what I have without giving it away.
My trauma had a purpose, my pain could be turned into love and support for another in need. Like my beautiful partner who should be unconditional love, who was able to see through my addicted self, the light that was always inside burning, yearning to be let free. I have been on this recovery journey for 5 years now, evolving every day into my true spiritual self.
It has not been a easy road, and I have fallen here and there. But the yoga always leads me back to center. The practice only teaches me acceptance and non judgment towards all parts good and bad. Yoga teaches self exploration, self awareness, and most of all that you have a choice. I learned through practice that I am not my mind or the thoughts, that I am the observer of the thoughts. That I can not control the feed that goes on but I can control my reaction to the thoughts.
Yoga taught me about the importance of intention, and the willingness to stay grounded in the chaos of life. That nothing stays the same forever only the deepest parts of you remain consistent. I believe in law of attraction, the power of energy, our thoughts and words creating our future one moment at time. I know that I am meant to share this practice to others.
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