Why am I here?

 By Ravisankar Nadiyam
A Student of Life (and Glow Circles Member)

Is there a purpose to life? I used to think that I am here for something and finding that out is my journey. This thought started off when I observed the differences between people and thought to myself – Why does one person have two healthy feet while one is lame? Why does one person travel in a car while the other sits by the roadside and begs? Why are we all different?

Since I could not find that out, I thought of finding out why I was the way I was. My mother is religious and my dad is spiritual. I spent a lot of my childhood with my maternal family who were all religious. My Dad never objected to anyone going to a temple though he did ask why one had to go to the temple. His rules for living are (1) do not hurt anyone intentionally (2) do good to others if you can and are able (3) do what your heart tells you to do (4) take responsibility for all your actions and it’s results. Come to think of it, I did not get it until a few years back. I spent a lot of my childhood with my grandmother and the maternal family in general and the answer to any question that I had was the same – it was god. But I could not accept that god will make a person unhappy or punish a person for doing something wrong. I was told that god is everything and in all of us. So I questioned why I was being reprimanded for something I did ‘wrong’ according to the elders if it was in fact god that was doing this. If god is in me and in everyone, how can something someone does be wrong? Well, my grandmother thought that I was weird. So you see, my search for the answers and to know the purpose of life started early.

Later on, a thought crossed my mind, my constantly day dreaming mind! Since we always consider anything that we do as a means to an end or as the process to achieve something, that is why I wanted to know the purpose – the end – the destination. That’s the time I started reading or meeting people who were talking things like ‘living in the moment’, ‘enjoy the journey’ etc. This is something that I did notice – that my though process would draw me to people or books that are related to the thoughts of that time. Is that manifestation?

During a period in my journey, I was introduced to the concept of nirvana and related to that was also the concept of re-birth or reincarnation. I was told about the journey of the soul and that made sense to me at that time and answered my question about why we are all different and some seem to be happier than others. (Journey of the Soul is addressed as a separate blog) Then, for a while, I got hooked on the concept of nirvana – that the purpose of the life here is to find nirvana, to go back to the bliss where one came from. It also tied in with karma, reincarnation, keeping accounts of the deeds done over several births etc. This was also the time that I got back in touch with meditation. I had felt right from my childhood that what I need to do is to meditate. And then it was frustrating that I was not doing that. It really was. Something like people wanting to exercise and then feeling bad that they are not doing any exercise. It became even more frustrating as this was what I was to do to attain nirvana fast, right?! Anyway, I got into meditating regularly early in ’10. (My Meditation experiences are in a separate blog.)

This was the period that I also got introduced to what is generally called ‘new age spiritualism’. I was going berserk looking for the purpose as more and more angles, let us call it dimensions (as it is a better sounding new agey word!) started to appear. The galactic federation, plaeidians, syrians (not from the Country by that name but from the star sirus) , rainbow children, Enki, Enlil, Nibiru, etc were everyday terms at that time. This went on for many years. I met many people around the globe who thought on the same lines. Some of these people had all these thoughts in their head and had not had anyone to talk to. They felt good to know that there were others who believed them as they had never read or seen any videos or had any other exposure other than having these thoughts in their head. Now, that I found really interesting and gave my beliefs a great level of legitimacy. The more I researched into Atlantis, the pyramids, ancient cultures of the Incas and the Mayans; and add to that my existing belief in life outside of Earth and that there was more than what our brains can perceive, this was becoming hugely complex and truly mind-boggling. So much so that at one point I said to myself that I need to accept that there is no way I will get to the bottom of all this and that I need to simplify my existence to what the human brain can fathom. I decided that indeed there is a great design and probably a designer in action but that I need to dig deeper into myself and not look externally.

About Ravisankar Nadiyam

Having started the search to find answers from a very early age, Ravisankar – Ravi to friends – now says, “I don’t want to know all the answers as I am the answer and the questioner”. His self-exploratory journey inwards was helped by his travels to over 40 Countries. He loves connecting with as many people and places as possible. With a keen eye for photography, this ex-sales manager of an American corporation loves writing and feels that he connects energetically with whoever reads what he writes. He understands that his is not the only perspective on any subject and is curious to know what your take on the subject is. Write to him at inhalexhale2012@gmail.com.

For more posts by Ravi, visit https://ravisankardotin.wordpress.com/