Glow Living

Category: Friends

  • Chandra Lynn Appears on The Dave Pamah Show Podcast

    Chandra Lynn Appears on The Dave Pamah Show Podcast

    Dave Pamah was a delightful host and I had so much fun on this podcast with him. If you’ve got a free 40 minutes, I’d love for you to check it out. We share tips and stories that I hope you enjoy!

    Dave Pamah Show Podcast with Chandra Lynn
    CLICK TO LISTEN NOW

    About Dave Pamah

    Dave Pamah is an author, podcaster, and personal coach who helps people overcome resiliency. As an ex-athlete and retired firefighter, he faced many challenges with racism, bullying, and dyslexia. His experience has led him to a career in helping others through personal coaching and with his book: Firefighting From Within. Dave hosts the podcast ‘The Dave Pamah Show’ where he highlights ways people can make improvements in their lives and other mental health topics. He says that people need to build resiliency by using mindfulness to gain some calmness in your life. Having more positivity can help you live your best life.

    The Dave Pamah Show

    Are you caught up in life’s troubles and don’t want to take any more of it? Do you desire an accomplished life? Do you want to develop the right mindset that drives your passion? Are you concerned about life’s deepest challenges? Or does the world look too bleak from your perspective?

    The Dave Pamah show seeks to revive, restore, awaken, and reform your innermost capabilities. Dave connects you to a whole new view of the world, through the pockets of experiences from great minds who have thrived and toiled and have been able to see the world’s true beauty.

    Life is so much more, beneath the surface. And Dave is passionate about helping you see life in its grand form. From life’s little problems to business success tips, politics, and the world’s biggest challenges, Dave wishes to awaken in you the drive to succeed.

    Dave Pamah’s show brings to you, explosive insights, fascinating tips, captivating interviews, mind-blowing discussions, unusual conversations, and just about everything that focused on you.

    The Dave Pamah Show connects you to the world through his interviews with International Athletes, High-profile brands, Celebrity Hollywood Stars, Entertainers, Entrepreneurs, Life Coaches, Leading Leadership Professionals, Pioneers, Political Experts, and just about anyone who is passionate about sharing with the world.

    Listen to Dave Pamah as he brings to your ear’s delightful experiences. Come away from every episode, transformed, invigorated, and energized to live life to the fullest.

    www.davepamah.com

  • How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips

    How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips

    How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips

    “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Ernest Hemingway
    “Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus

    One social habit that I used to be quite bad at was to truly listen when other people spoke. I sometimes zoned out. I got distracted or my attention started to wander before they were done talking. Or I just waited for my turn to talk again (while thinking about what I should say next). Not very helpful. So things had to change. This week I’d like to share 10 simple tips that helped me – and still helps me – to become a better listener. I hope they will help you and your relationships too.

    1. Keep in mind: Listening is win/win. Many may not listen that well because they think they don’t get much out of it personally. But the better you listen, the better they will listen to you.  And the better and deeper the relationship will be. If you focus on understanding him or her and on giving value based on that then you’ll get the same thing back. This reminder has been a powerful motivator for me to become a better listener.

    2. Tell yourself that you’ll tell someone else about this conversation later on. One of the best ways to remember something better is to know that you are going to tell what you learned to someone else. Then you’ll be more alert, naturally start asking more questions to understand and what is said – in my experience – simply seems to stick better. Plus, you’ll stop focusing so much on what to say next and so the conversation tends to flow better.

    3. Keep the eye-contact. Looking everywhere except at the person talking can make it seem like you are not listening. And then the conversation suffers. So keep the eye-contact. I found it easier to start doing this more often when I:

    • Take it step-by-small-step and improved my eye-contact time in conversations over the span of a few months.
    • Focused my gaze at just one of the other person’s eyes at time.

    4. Keep that smart phone away. Browsing the internet on your phone or your computer while trying to listen usually leads missing some part of the conversation and to the person talking feeling like he or she is not listened to. So put that phone down while listening if you don’t need it to check something or write something down as a part of the conversation.

    5. Summarize what was said. I have found that taking a few seconds to summarize what someone just said – like a longer segment about what happened at work or in a relationship – makes it a lot easier to make sure I’ve understood what happened. As I say that summary out loud the other person can adjust or correct my understanding and so I can add my perspective, thoughts or questions in a better way based on that rather than my assumptions about what happened and of how the other person’s experienced this situation. Or I can take some kind of action based on what they actually meant and not what I thought they meant (for example in a work setting where a misunderstanding could lead to frustration and time lost if you misunderstand).

    6. Ask instead of trying to mind-read. Reading someone’s mind is quite difficult. Most of the time impossible. Still, so many of us have tried to do it and started conversations based on that too many times. So when you feel impulse to assume and mind-read stop that and start being curious and ask open-ended questions. Going for this kind of question instead of the ones where the other person can just answer a yes or a no will help him/her to open up and to start explaining and sharing what is going on.

    7. Get some fresh air and/or exercise. Few things make it so hard to follow along in a conversation as a tired and foggy head. Two things that can keep that energy and mental clarity up are to open a window or to take a walk outside to get both some exercise and some fresh air. Exercising regularly a bit more intensely a few times a week also makes it easier to fully be there when you want to and need to listen.

    8. When you listen, just listen. Don’t interrupt. Don’t jump in with solutions (this one can be a hard one in my experience). Just be present in the moment and listen fully to what the other person has to say and let him or her speak until the entire message is said. Sometimes that is also all that’s needed. For someone to truly listen as we vent for a few minutes and figure things out for ourselves.

    9. Be honest about your current limitations. If you’re in a rush or feel very tired or stressed out let the other person know. If you have listened for long while and your mind has hit its limit and starts to wander and you need a break and maybe something to eat and to process what said as you do something else say that too. It is better for the both of you to be honest and to continue the conversation later then try to fake undivided attention or to try to keep the listening up when you honestly just can’t.

    10. Share what you have done in a similar situation. When asked for advice while listening or when it seems appropriate – not when the other person just needs to vent and get things out – share what you have done in the same situation or a similar one and what worked well for you. That gives a lot more weight to your input than just random advice or opinions about what you think could work.

    by Henrik Edberg from Positivity Blog
  • What do you “deserve”?

    What do you “deserve”?

    Today’s topic is something that holds a lot of people back, especially creatives, and its about the need to raise our standards for what we think we “deserve”. If you have thoughts or reactions that keep you from the things you aspire to, its likely because you don’t think you deserve the outcome deep down.

    Our brains manufacture reasons why we don’t deserve to attract the things we want. They tell us we need more training, we need to lose weight, we aren’t attractive enough, there are people better than us, etc. 

    We can always find people who are seemingly better looking, more successful, more credentialed, and the like. Does that mean we are less worthy to attract the things we want? I don’t think so.

    What it does mean is that we’ve given ourselves justification for not deserving it…and, subsequently, not going for it. Like last week’s theme about not feeling good enough, our brain serves up these road blocks to keep us right where we are, safe and sound.

    Additionally, parents, partners, bosses and other people can reinforce these beliefs because of their own insecurities, whether they knowingly do it or not. Regardless, as adults now, its time to decide on the standards to enforce in our lives. I invite you to raise them from wherever they are right now.

    It’s NEVER a bad thing to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS. Quote me on that! 

    I believe we deserve to attract the things we want simply because we exist and want them. We can help ourselves manifest our desires when we uphold high standards with ourselves and others; take proactive steps towards meeting our goals; and strive to be the best versions of ourselves. 

    In what areas do you think you can raise your standards? What would it take to commit to it and start upholding them? How will it help you meet your goals? What are the costs if you don’t do it?

     

  • Allow People to Align With Your Truth

    Allow People to Align With Your Truth

    The Meme of the Week is “Allow People to Align With Your Truth,” and thought I’d explain what I mean by this. It all starts with aligning to yourself first, meaning acknowledging what you want and need to be happy and fulfilled. Knowing your truth will help you communicate it to those around you so that you can attract the support you need to create a new vision.

    Glowliving_11There are times when we identify something in our lives that isn’t working for us, such as a job or an aspect of a relationship. When this happens, its critical that we prioritize making important changes in these areas so that we can grow and avoid feeling stuck or held back in life. People hold themselves back for a variety of reasons including worrying about what others may think or feeling that they aren’t worthy enough to get what they want. However, holding yourself back will only prove to increase dissatisfaction and reduce levels of fulfillment over time which can lead to bigger problems. 

    You may find yourself less satisfied with your career, and want to go to the next level or jump tracks to another career. This may mean changing your identity and having others accept the new you. Recognizing that a career change is necessary to live your truth takes courage to put into action, and communication to help people understand the significance of supporting you through such big changes. 

    In a relationship, being truthful about your dissatisfaction or need for change can create anxiety about how the other person may respond. This can lead to concerns about consequences related to expressing your needs, and worry that it could lead to anger or abandonment. These consequences may in fact be very real, however, there are consequences for not communicating your needs as well. If our needs are not met over time, it’s easy get depressed and allow resentments to build up. When deep resentments start to weigh down a relationship, its often the kiss of death and you may have to say goodbye any way.

    You may avoid this by giving your partner a chance to align with your truth by letting them know where you really stand. The ball is in their court as to how they react. How they respond will show you how true they are to you and indicate their commitment to supporting and serving your needs at the highest levels. This is what true partnership is about. We grow and change and need partners that are flexible enough to realign while continuing to hold our hands as we walk the same path.

    Standing in your truth shows respect for yourself and demonstrates that you are upholding high standards. It’s always a good thing to have high standards. This is at the core of my advice to people in many situations. Take the high road and give others the opportunity to align to your truth. If they don’t, they may not be ready for reasons that may not have anything to do with you and everything to do with their willingness to grow and to be open to change.

    If you hide your true feelings or project a false self, they will think they are aligning with the true you, and can feel betrayed if you break up under pretenses of which they were unaware. Additionally, you will never have the chance to see if they were capable of making the adjustments necessary to preserve the relationship.

    Consider starting with recognizing and accepting your own truth about what you need and want in your life, then give those around you the opportunity to align and support you. If they don’t, its their loss, and if they do, you win! Either way, you can rest in a deep assurance that you are following what’s true to you and in your heart.

     
  • 74 Inspiring Friendship Quotes

    74 Inspiring Friendship Quotes

    74 Inspiring Friendship Quotes from The Positivity Blog

    Screen Shot 2016-03-04 at 12.39.08 PMFew things have such a huge impact on happiness and the enjoyment, depth and plain fun of life as the friendships we have. It could be the friendships with our partners, family members, co-workers and the people we have known for a few years now or since we were kids. Or even with people we have never even met at the other side of the world or the pets we love. So I’d like to share some of the best advice on this topic from the people who have walked this earth over the past hundreds and thousands of years. This is 74 thought-provoking, beautiful, sometimes poignant and sometimes funny quotes on friendship.  

    1. “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
    2. “If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh
    3. “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway
    4. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis
    5. “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” – David Tyson
    6. “Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” – Washington Irving
    7. “There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” – Jim Henson
    8. “A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.” – Leo Buscaglia
    9. “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” – Thomas J. Watson
    10. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” — Dale Carnegie
    11. “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” – Unknown
    12. “How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.” – Shel Silverstein
    13. “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” – Oscar Wilde
    14. “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius
    15. “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
    16. “I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” – Plutarch
    17. “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” – Albert Schweitzer
    18. “The real test of friendship is can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?” – Eugene Kennedy
    19. “A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” – Arnold H. Glasgow
    20. “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
    21. “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali
    22. “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” – Winnie the Pooh
    23. “Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” – Ally Condie
    24. “One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.” – George Santayana
    25. “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” — Audrey Hepburn
    26. “Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.”’ – Socrates
    27. “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” – Clifton Fadiman
    28. “Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness. “ – Leo F. Buscaglia
    29. “Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” – Charles Lamb
    30. “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust
    31. “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” – Zig Ziglar
    32. “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
    33. “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” – Laurence J. Peter
    34. “Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” – Mark Twain
    35. “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.” – William Arthur Ward
    36. “No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.” – Alice Walker
    37. “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” – Woodrow T. Wilson
    38. “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” – Ed Cunningham
    39. “Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.” – Oscar Wilde
    40. “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” — Anthony Robbins
    41. “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley
    42. “There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found While journeying east and west – The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow To those who love us best.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox
    43. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey
    44. “Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone — but part, while you can part friends. Bury the carcass of friendship: it is not worth embalming.” – William Hazlitt
    45. “A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.” – Arthur Brisbane
    46. “A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence; which costs us nothing.” — John Tillotson
    47. “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” – Donald Miller
    48. “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
    49. “If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz
    50. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer
    51. “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” — Henry David Thoreau
    52. “Many a person has held close, throughout their entire lives, two friends that always remained strange to one another, because one of them attracted by virtue of similarity, the other by difference.” – Emil Ludwig
    53. “People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” — Joseph F. Newton Men
    54. “Friendship is like a glass ornament, once it is broken it can rarely be put back together exactly the same way.” – Charles Kingsley
    55. “A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.” – Donna Roberts
    56. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. “ – Linda Grayson
    57. “It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” – Marlene Dietrich
    58. “Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” – Gloria Naylor
    59. “There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.” – Diana Cortes
    60. “Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.” — Miles Franklin
    61. “It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us, as the confidence of their help.” – Epicurus
    62. “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James
    63. “The tender friendships one gives up, on parting, leave their bite on the heart, but also a curious feeling of a treasure somewhere buried.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
    64. “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” – Abraham Lincoln
    65. “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
    66. “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” – Tennessee Williams
    67. “If it’s very painful for you to criticize your friends — you’re safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue.” – Alice Duer Miller
    68. “The best time to make friends is before you need them.” – Ethel Barrymore
    69. “In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran
    70. “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” — Carl W. Buechner
    71. “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” – Unknown
    72. “The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.” — Dale Carnegie
    73. “Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” – Albert Camus
    74. “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” – Brandi Snyder

    From The Positivity Blog