Category: For Men

Chandra Lynn Appears on The Dave Pamah Show Podcast

Dave Pamah was a delightful host and I had so much fun on this podcast with him. If you’ve got a free 40 minutes, I’d love for you to check it out. We share tips and stories that I hope you enjoy!

CLICK TO LISTEN NOW

About Dave Pamah

Dave Pamah is an author, podcaster, and personal coach who helps people overcome resiliency. As an ex-athlete and retired firefighter, he faced many challenges with racism, bullying, and dyslexia. His experience has led him to a career in helping others through personal coaching and with his book: Firefighting From Within. Dave hosts the podcast ‘The Dave Pamah Show’ where he highlights ways people can make improvements in their lives and other mental health topics. He says that people need to build resiliency by using mindfulness to gain some calmness in your life. Having more positivity can help you live your best life.

The Dave Pamah Show

Are you caught up in life’s troubles and don’t want to take any more of it? Do you desire an accomplished life? Do you want to develop the right mindset that drives your passion? Are you concerned about life’s deepest challenges? Or does the world look too bleak from your perspective?

The Dave Pamah show seeks to revive, restore, awaken, and reform your innermost capabilities. Dave connects you to a whole new view of the world, through the pockets of experiences from great minds who have thrived and toiled and have been able to see the world’s true beauty.

Life is so much more, beneath the surface. And Dave is passionate about helping you see life in its grand form. From life’s little problems to business success tips, politics, and the world’s biggest challenges, Dave wishes to awaken in you the drive to succeed.

Dave Pamah’s show brings to you, explosive insights, fascinating tips, captivating interviews, mind-blowing discussions, unusual conversations, and just about everything that focused on you.

The Dave Pamah Show connects you to the world through his interviews with International Athletes, High-profile brands, Celebrity Hollywood Stars, Entertainers, Entrepreneurs, Life Coaches, Leading Leadership Professionals, Pioneers, Political Experts, and just about anyone who is passionate about sharing with the world.

Listen to Dave Pamah as he brings to your ear’s delightful experiences. Come away from every episode, transformed, invigorated, and energized to live life to the fullest.

www.davepamah.com

October 2, 2020
Pandemic-proof Your Career

Psychotherapist Iris Benrubi of Simply Success interviews Chandra Lynn in this video. Watch as they dig deep into connecting to our authenticity and how to define ourselves as we make career changes necessary to succeed in the midst Covid-19.

Enroll now to claim your free gift: Connecting to Authenticity Free Gift (Value of $29)

September 25, 2020
Let Fall Bring Positive Change

How To Let Fall Bring Positive Change

Do you have anything that you wish you would just go away…some extra pounds, a toxic relationship, a debt, or other nuisance? Consider using the changing of the seasons to aid you in making long overdue life changes. As the leaves fall and turn different colors, you can let things go that no longer serve you. Don’t wait until the New Year when now is a powerful time energetically for transformation.

Metaphors are potent for putting things in perspective. For example, visualize a backpack full of all the extra things that you no longer want to carry around. What are they? Be specific about what you want to let go of or change.

Now put the backpack on and feel the weight of it on your back and how much it weighs you down, makes you feel sluggish, and/or adds anxiety. Now put the backpack down! You are lighter and more carefree.

Why have you been carrying it around? How has it been serving you? People don’t do things that don’t serve them on some level, so figure out how these things have served you in the past at low levels or in unhealthy ways.

What are the consequences if you keep carrying the backpack around? How can you get rid of the backpack…drop it off a cliff, send it to outer space, explode it into a million pieces? Image it gone, and breathe a sigh of relief as a result of your decision to let it go.

If letting go creates a void, list any and all ideas you have for activities or other ways to get the same needs met at higher levels. For me, when I get stressed or bored, I find myself staring into the refrigerator to eat mindlessly. Instead, now I pre-schedule ways to manage stress through exercise and plan for a nourishing protein shake right after my workout to feed my muscles and not my emotions. On a daily basis, it’s not fun for me to exercise alone because I’ve identified that I’m a social exerciser. Because of this, I line up workout buddies at scheduled times to make sure I stay accountable and enjoy the process. As we exercise we also attempt to solve the worlds problems (ya right!) so it can also be therapeutic.

Fall is a good time to identify the things you want to let go, forgive, and heal in order to grow and move to the next level.

Written by Chandra Lynn

September 16, 2020
What do you want to be known for?

What do you want to be known for?
By Chandra Lynn

One of my brilliant friends and Glow Circles member Tara Callahan asked me what I want people to understand about my efforts with Glow Living. When I started to explain my intentions, she stopped my long-winded answer and said, “no tell me in 5 words!” Hmmmmm. After some thought, I said I want to…

“Inspire people to love life.”

Sitting with this intention, however, I felt an internal struggle because the truth is that I don’t always love life. Sometimes, life is really hard and there are challenges and losses that make me wonder if I’m a good person to represent someone who loves life. I decided that this IS the reason why I am the exact right person!

I’ve been prone to depressive thoughts, and although I have a lot to be grateful for, I been known to fall into the trap of focusing on the negative. Until now, I never focused on finding ways to increase my upper limits for feeling joy about my life and experiences.

I didn’t always know how to manage my emotions well, so I sought training on emotional mastery. I now practice effective techniques, and consistently rebalance my energy through a blend of healthy activities such as exercise, yoga, meditation, journaling, talking with friends, good sleep, and more. There is no simple way to do it. It’s about learning how to place more protective boundaries and practicing diligent self-care…things that are especially hard for amiable personalities that want to help others. Through Glow Living, I will share what works for me and bring in experts to help with this.

Today, this post is about aligning with what you want to be known for, and being able to articulate it succinctly. Go to the Personal Growth Forum to share what you want to be known for and see if you can boil it down to 5 words!

About Tara Callahan:

“I wanna make people laugh,” states Tara Callahan when asked about what she wants to be known for. Check out Tara’s YouTube videos that are sure to bring smiles, and subscribe to show your support.

June 29, 2020
Consistency is Everything When Training

Consistency Is Everything When Training
By Chandra Lynn

A couple years ago I started tracking my workout using the bodybuilding.com body face app and recently I realized I only had tracked 300 workouts! Of course it doesn’t count all the times taking walks or attending yoga classes but it does show me that I’ve been fairly consistent with my routine and, as a result, I feel like my body has really changed. Because we’re with ourselves every day it’s often hard to know how much our body is changing. That’s why it’s important to create benchmark and track your progress. Some people take photos, measurements for see how their clothes are fitting and what size they’re wearing. Another measurement is just to check in with yourself and see how you feel.

Are you giving yourself credit for all the work that you done?
Are you proud of yourself for the effort in the consistency?
Or do negative thoughts come up about how much more you should be doing?

Regardless of whether you worked out once in a week or seven times a week, consistency in working out is what’s important. It’s a commitment to fitness for health and longevity. Of course there’s motivating factors in terms of how we look at our genes and how other people see us, or even how we see ourselves we look in a mere. But when it really comes down to it health is the number one priority because without it we don’t have anything to give out.

Have you ever felt really unmotivated to go work out and then you push yourself through it and realize how great it’s out afterwards? Remembering how great it out can often be a motivator to go back in and push past the feelings of the motive a fan or anticipation of pain. Of course working out should never actually bring you real physical pain, it’s just that sometimes to really get full benefits of exercise you have to push yourself to your limit in a safe way. And doing that can feel uncomfortable.

For me I have to push myself through H.I.I.T. training. Some people absolutely love to push themselves to their peak heart rate but for me its highly uncomfortable, and I don’t look forward to it. Of course, afterwards, I feel fantastic and super proud of myself for doing it, and I know that it’s the key to my results. So there are times that we have to push past our fear of discomfort and inadequacies in order to be consistent and align with our commitment to our fitness goals.

Have you ever taken a weekend off are gone on vacation and found it really hard to get active again even after a successful run? The key is to just get right back to it and after a couple days you’ll feel like you’re back in swing of things. Don’t put it off anymore because it’ll just make it harder to get back to where you were and move beyond any plateaus. If you put it off, you may find that your thoughts turn negative and you start feeling bad about yourself and feel discouraged. I find that it’s best for me not to go more than two days without an working out but everybody’s different so you have to find the limit for yourself.

I’m going to leave you with a meme that is one of the biggest motivators that I have ever seen. Which old person would you rather be? Now get to work! ; )

May 24, 2020
Handling Digital Stress and Distractions
“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.” Jim Rohn
Here are 10 habits that help me to keep my attention on what truly matters – both at work and in my private life – and at the same time minimize stress and overwhelm.

1. Shut off notifications. To find focus the first simple thing to do is to shut off notifications in:
Your email client.

Messaging programs.

Social media and gaming apps.

Then get back to what truly matters without those pings hanging over you and distracting you.
2. Keep your smartphone far away for quality time/work. The simplest way to not be distracted all the time by your smartphone is to put up small obstacles so you don’t have that easy and tempting access. Here’s, for instance, what I do when I work:

I put the phone in silent mode.

I put it in another room at the other end of our home.

Then I check it a few times a day for calls and text messages.

We often do the same thing during the evenings and weekends to make sure that the time we spend together is quality time and not time spent being distracted.
3. Unplug or use an app to keep your focus on what matters. When I write a new article or work on a course then I usually do that disconnected from the internet. If that’s not possible for you then try a browser addon like for example StayFcusd to temporarily block the sites where you know you tend to procrastinate and waste too much time.

4. Check email, social media etc. only once a day. Make a conscious choice about when you will handle email, social media, and other such checking and replying. Instead of just doing it anytime when you feel bored, overwhelmed, or stressed. Or simply because you are stuck in a habit of doing it 10-20 times a day. I go through all such things one after the other at around four in the afternoon. Then I’m close to the end of my workday and I have spent several hours doing what matters the most for me and requires the most focus and energy.

5. If you feel an urge to check something before your set time then just pause. Sit or stand still for a minute. The impulse will pass and you can get back to what you were doing. Instead of getting off track and end up being distracted for 15-30 minutes.

6. Stop comparing your life to someone’s highlight reel. When you start comparing yourself and your life to what old classmates, friends, and celebrities share on Instagram or Facebook and you each day see how perfect and wonderful their homes, kids, work, and lives are then that can create a lot of stress and erode your self-esteem. So what can you do if you get stuck in this habit?
Remember that what they share is usually just the highlight reel of their lives, the most positive moments. The other stuff that is a part of life happens too, you just don’t see it.

Focus on comparing yourself to yourself instead. See how far you have come, what you have learned, and what you have overcome.

7. Disconnect over the weekend. Stay away from work and offline over the weekend. Leave your work phone at your job. If that’s not possible keep things to a minimum:

Leave that work phone in silent mode and check it just every 24 hours over the weekend.

Do a quick 2 min check of email once a weekend (that’s what I do).

Reply only to the calls, texts, and emails that are very important. Otherwise, let them wait until Monday.

8. Keep a very simple workspace. The computer may have access to almost unlimited information and many, many tasks and emails. To not get dragged into the possible stress of that zoom out to the next level. To your workspace that the computer is sitting in. Make it a simple and calming workspace to make your mind more centered too and less susceptible to overwhelm, confusion, and stress. Mine is for example just a black desk, my laptop, a few flowers, a glass of water, and a piece of paper where I write down my next task.
9. Focus your information inflow. Ask yourself:
What email newsletters in my inbox have I actually read and gotten something good out of in the past 30 days?

What podcasts I have listened to that have given me value in the past month?

You can ask yourself the same for magazines, blogs and forums, and so on. Then take 5-15 minutes to unsubscribe to the ones that just clutter up your inbox, smartphone, bookmark list, and shelves. Time is limited. So is your attention. So use both of them in a way that enriches your life and that focuses on only the best information sources. This very simple exercise can be surprisingly effective to get rid of mental clutter too and think more clearly again.
10. Remember the 5 little words for sanity: One thing at a time. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the tabs open in your browser or missed messages when you’re distracted by something while trying to have quality time with your loved ones, and when the stress and overwhelm are starting to build up remember those 5 little words. Breathe and let them help you to connect with this moment again and with simplifying things. Use them to slow down, to find clarity in what you need to do and to resharpen your focus and attention once again.

By Henrik Edberg from Postitivity Blog
April 28, 2020
How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips
How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Ernest Hemingway

“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus
One social habit that I used to be quite bad at was to truly listen when other people spoke. I sometimes zoned out. I got distracted or my attention started to wander before they were done talking. Or I just waited for my turn to talk again (while thinking about what I should say next). Not very helpful. So things had to change. This week I’d like to share 10 simple tips that helped me – and still helps me – to become a better listener. I hope they will help you and your relationships too.

1. Keep in mind: Listening is win/win. Many may not listen that well because they think they don’t get much out of it personally. But the better you listen, the better they will listen to you. And the better and deeper the relationship will be. If you focus on understanding him or her and on giving value based on that then you’ll get the same thing back. This reminder has been a powerful motivator for me to become a better listener.

2. Tell yourself that you’ll tell someone else about this conversation later on. One of the best ways to remember something better is to know that you are going to tell what you learned to someone else. Then you’ll be more alert, naturally start asking more questions to understand and what is said – in my experience – simply seems to stick better. Plus, you’ll stop focusing so much on what to say next and so the conversation tends to flow better.

3. Keep the eye-contact. Looking everywhere except at the person talking can make it seem like you are not listening. And then the conversation suffers. So keep the eye-contact. I found it easier to start doing this more often when I:
- Take it step-by-small-step and improved my eye-contact time in conversations over the span of a few months.
- Focused my gaze at just one of the other person’s eyes at time.
4. Keep that smart phone away. Browsing the internet on your phone or your computer while trying to listen usually leads missing some part of the conversation and to the person talking feeling like he or she is not listened to. So put that phone down while listening if you don’t need it to check something or write something down as a part of the conversation.

5. Summarize what was said. I have found that taking a few seconds to summarize what someone just said – like a longer segment about what happened at work or in a relationship – makes it a lot easier to make sure I’ve understood what happened. As I say that summary out loud the other person can adjust or correct my understanding and so I can add my perspective, thoughts or questions in a better way based on that rather than my assumptions about what happened and of how the other person’s experienced this situation. Or I can take some kind of action based on what they actually meant and not what I thought they meant (for example in a work setting where a misunderstanding could lead to frustration and time lost if you misunderstand).

6. Ask instead of trying to mind-read. Reading someone’s mind is quite difficult. Most of the time impossible. Still, so many of us have tried to do it and started conversations based on that too many times. So when you feel impulse to assume and mind-read stop that and start being curious and ask open-ended questions. Going for this kind of question instead of the ones where the other person can just answer a yes or a no will help him/her to open up and to start explaining and sharing what is going on.

7. Get some fresh air and/or exercise. Few things make it so hard to follow along in a conversation as a tired and foggy head. Two things that can keep that energy and mental clarity up are to open a window or to take a walk outside to get both some exercise and some fresh air. Exercising regularly a bit more intensely a few times a week also makes it easier to fully be there when you want to and need to listen.

8. When you listen, just listen. Don’t interrupt. Don’t jump in with solutions (this one can be a hard one in my experience). Just be present in the moment and listen fully to what the other person has to say and let him or her speak until the entire message is said. Sometimes that is also all that’s needed. For someone to truly listen as we vent for a few minutes and figure things out for ourselves.

9. Be honest about your current limitations. If you’re in a rush or feel very tired or stressed out let the other person know. If you have listened for long while and your mind has hit its limit and starts to wander and you need a break and maybe something to eat and to process what said as you do something else say that too. It is better for the both of you to be honest and to continue the conversation later then try to fake undivided attention or to try to keep the listening up when you honestly just can’t.

10. Share what you have done in a similar situation. When asked for advice while listening or when it seems appropriate – not when the other person just needs to vent and get things out – share what you have done in the same situation or a similar one and what worked well for you. That gives a lot more weight to your input than just random advice or opinions about what you think could work.
by Henrik Edberg from Positivity Blog
April 28, 2020
Transformations Take Serious Commitment to Yourself

Transformations Take Serious Commitment…And Are Worth It!
By Chandra Lynn

I was raised by a very petite mom and, although I’m small too, I always felt bigger as in thicker or, dare I say, fatter. Although I’ve never been grossly overweight, I carried around the belief that made me refer to myself as the “10 pound overweight girl.” Being the perfect weight and size always seemed just out of reach despite going to the gym and trying different diets that seemed to work for my friends. After having a baby, negative self-talk increased and turned into serious frustration with my body, as if it was separate from me and working against me.

I felt doughy and full, a quality that a macrobiotic counselor said was from eating dairy. Legitimately, I had eaten a lot of dairy in my life because I was raised vegetarian and it became the substitute for meat. When served vegetarian food, it was always a combination of carbs and dairy (i.e. cheese lasagna, cheese enchiladas, cheese sandwich, etc.). So I cut out all dairy for eight years, got rid of my microwave, and learned how to cook with whole foods and no dairy.

In truth, I saw some improvement and the puffy quality died down. But, I still felt like I had a higher percentage of body fat than I wanted so I decided to get even more serious and turned to weight training. In the past, I would do yoga and force myself to do cardio, but it just seemed like enough to maintain, not transform. I decided in myself that it was no longer acceptable to despise my body and turn against myself by allowing a negative inner critic to let loose. It just wasn’t working and would trigger depressive episodes of self-loathing. Honestly, I couldn’t understand what was going on with me because it didn’t seem right to do this to myself when I knew men were attracted to me and I was beautiful…not like a model but pretty in my own unique way.

Enough was enough and I decided to open myself up to working out much more vigorously. I made the scary trek over to the free weights area of the gym and started talking to people that were all much nicer and more helpful than I could have imagined.

I realized that I really needed a program to follow and didn’t want to spend more money on a trainer because my gym membership is fairly pricey. So I turned to bodybuilding.com and signed up for a free account on their social platform Bodyspace (find me: GlowChandra) which gave me access to some amazing programs put together by fitness models, athletes, champion bodybuilders, and expert trainers.

On Bodyspace, I saw a lot of average people achieving amazing results. If they could do, so can I. I started with Jamie Eason’s Livefit Trainer, a 12-week program which is great for beginners. Jamie is a petite fitness model who is the same height as me so it seemed like a good match. And it was. After completing that successfully, I realized that consistency is the key and that I will spend the rest of my life on a program of one kind or another.

I went on to do Dr. Jim Stoppani’s Shortcut to Shred a few times and now I’m doing Dymatize Transformed. In addition to these programs, I have continued doing yoga and they are perfectly complementary. I’ve also added H.I.I.T. (High-Intensity Interval) Training. I’ve also added back some dairy for protein, so I eat eggs, whey, Greek yogurt and cottage cheese. I eat some cheeses on occasion but try to stick with low-fat ones like parmesan and manchego.

There are endless topics to explore related to health, fitness and nutrition so you can read more about this in future posts. For guidance on what to eat while training, read my post to help you figure out your calorie intake and macros. You can also read about how transformative my yoga practice has been for me.

What I will leave you with is a general understanding of what all this effort has done for me. I have changed my body a lot. I’ve sculpted it to have more muscle definition and less body fat. And through this emotional process that involves mental and physical exercises, I have come away with a strengthened self-esteem and diminished self-talk. I look more youthful and rarely get sick. I catch a glimpse in the mirror and still wish I had less cellulite, a higher, rounder booty, and longer limbs, but I am really proud of myself and think I look the best I have in my entire life. I am no longer the 10-pound overweight girl. I’m a workout warrior that is motivated to keep transforming myself to glow inside and out.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

More resources:

Bodybuilding.com

Jim Stoppani’s Official Page

Jim Stoppani’s 6 Week Shortcut To Shred Review by CheckMeOwt

April 28, 2020
What do you “deserve”?

Today’s topic is something that holds a lot of people back, especially creatives, and its about the need to raise our standards for what we think we “deserve”. If you have thoughts or reactions that keep you from the things you aspire to, its likely because you don’t think you deserve the outcome deep down.

Our brains manufacture reasons why we don’t deserve to attract the things we want. They tell us we need more training, we need to lose weight, we aren’t attractive enough, there are people better than us, etc.

We can always find people who are seemingly better looking, more successful, more credentialed, and the like. Does that mean we are less worthy to attract the things we want? I don’t think so.

What it does mean is that we’ve given ourselves justification for not deserving it…and, subsequently, not going for it. Like last week’s theme about not feeling good enough, our brain serves up these road blocks to keep us right where we are, safe and sound.

Additionally, parents, partners, bosses and other people can reinforce these beliefs because of their own insecurities, whether they knowingly do it or not. Regardless, as adults now, its time to decide on the standards to enforce in our lives. I invite you to raise them from wherever they are right now.

It’s NEVER a bad thing to RAISE YOUR STANDARDS. Quote me on that!

I believe we deserve to attract the things we want simply because we exist and want them. We can help ourselves manifest our desires when we uphold high standards with ourselves and others; take proactive steps towards meeting our goals; and strive to be the best versions of ourselves.

In what areas do you think you can raise your standards? What would it take to commit to it and start upholding them? How will it help you meet your goals? What are the costs if you don’t do it?

April 13, 2020

Allow People to Align With Your Truth

The Meme of the Week is “Allow People to Align With Your Truth,” and thought I’d explain what I mean by this. It all starts with aligning to yourself first, meaning acknowledging what you want and need to be happy and fulfilled. Knowing your truth will help you communicate it to those around you so that you can attract the support you need to create a new vision.

There are times when we identify something in our lives that isn’t working for us, such as a job or an aspect of a relationship. When this happens, its critical that we prioritize making important changes in these areas so that we can grow and avoid feeling stuck or held back in life. People hold themselves back for a variety of reasons including worrying about what others may think or feeling that they aren’t worthy enough to get what they want. However, holding yourself back will only prove to increase dissatisfaction and reduce levels of fulfillment over time which can lead to bigger problems.

You may find yourself less satisfied with your career, and want to go to the next level or jump tracks to another career. This may mean changing your identity and having others accept the new you. Recognizing that a career change is necessary to live your truth takes courage to put into action, and communication to help people understand the significance of supporting you through such big changes.

In a relationship, being truthful about your dissatisfaction or need for change can create anxiety about how the other person may respond. This can lead to concerns about consequences related to expressing your needs, and worry that it could lead to anger or abandonment. These consequences may in fact be very real, however, there are consequences for not communicating your needs as well. If our needs are not met over time, it’s easy get depressed and allow resentments to build up. When deep resentments start to weigh down a relationship, its often the kiss of death and you may have to say goodbye any way.

You may avoid this by giving your partner a chance to align with your truth by letting them know where you really stand. The ball is in their court as to how they react. How they respond will show you how true they are to you and indicate their commitment to supporting and serving your needs at the highest levels. This is what true partnership is about. We grow and change and need partners that are flexible enough to realign while continuing to hold our hands as we walk the same path.

Standing in your truth shows respect for yourself and demonstrates that you are upholding high standards. It’s always a good thing to have high standards. This is at the core of my advice to people in many situations. Take the high road and give others the opportunity to align to your truth. If they don’t, they may not be ready for reasons that may not have anything to do with you and everything to do with their willingness to grow and to be open to change.

If you hide your true feelings or project a false self, they will think they are aligning with the true you, and can feel betrayed if you break up under pretenses of which they were unaware. Additionally, you will never have the chance to see if they were capable of making the adjustments necessary to preserve the relationship.

Consider starting with recognizing and accepting your own truth about what you need and want in your life, then give those around you the opportunity to align and support you. If they don’t, its their loss, and if they do, you win! Either way, you can rest in a deep assurance that you are following what’s true to you and in your heart.

April 1, 2020

Category: For Men

“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.” Jim Rohn

How to Become a Better Listener: 10 Simple Tips