Category: For Men

Recommitting to What’s Meaningful

January brought huge change in our community. One of our member’s lost his wife; another member landed a huge music endorsement deal; my biggest marketing client went from a secure retainer to occasional projects; and many more stories of radical change are being relayed every day. Some changes are good and some are hard to see the gifts they bring in the moment.

What I am taking away is how important (now more than ever) that we recommit to what is meaningful to us. We can’t take anything for granted. In one day, our whole entire life can change, and bring uncertainty which can lead to fear or excitement.

Two of our human needs are certainty and uncertainty. Things that cause uncertainty are often feared, however we actually need it to add excitement, spice and growth to our life. If you are a someone that craves a lot of certainty and security, you may not welcome change despite its blessings. I’ve found that the more uncertainty we can handle, the happier we are. Stability is comfortable but it can also cause rigidity and lack of growth. Its important to balance certainty and uncertainty with uncertainty and variety.

When in uncertain times, which we are most certainly in, I invite you too look closely at your need for certainty and any fears that come up without it. Then consider all of the things you actually do have in your life that are certain and stable. Root down by putting your focus, attention and energy into those things.

For example, I once coached a man through a divorce and he was at a point where he was only able to focus on how much things were changing, loss and fear. I was able to show him areas of certainty such as his stable job and income, child that still wanted his love, friends and family that were there for him, and other things he could count on. Once he brought his focus back to these areas, he felt infinitely more secure and was able to take the necessary actions to dissolve a bad relationship in an amicable way. He is now thriving and recently expressed his gratitude because he just got a promotion and is happy with his new path.

Currently, I have no idea where my next dollar is coming from. And, I know it will come. I believe in abundance and have already seen new opportunities arise in a matter of days. I’m seeing this transitionary time as an opportunity to evaluate what I want and create a renewed commitment to attracting the right things. I’ve never once lost interest in Glow Living, but I have feared that it will not be able to sustain me financially. I don’t know if I will ever monetize my efforts, but when I put my focus on it, I feel like I’m being true to myself. I have also experienced enough confirmations to know I’m on the right path and to stay the course. So here I am. Here we are.

Let’s do this…uncertainty, excitement, fear and all!!

August 4, 2023
Re-ignite Your Passion!
Written by Glow Circles Member Kelli Richards

A topic has been brewing in my mind over the past couple of weeks that I wanted to touch on today; and that is the power of enthusiasm, energy and vitality. I think what sparked it was going to a couple of concerts during the past couple of weeks — Rick Springfield and Earth, Wind & Fire — both of whom have been performing for over 45 years each (and the lead members all in their mid-to-late sixties). Same thing when I saw Herb Alpert and Lani Hall play a show last Fall (he was 80 at the time).

None of these guys has to work or tour any more. But all of them exuded passion, vibrancy, energy and vitality. They love what they’re doing, they get high on the interaction with their audiences, and clearly they’re still having a great time performing and entertaining. It’s inspiring and infectious to watch…

But you don’t have to be an artist to experience the same level of energy and enthusiasm; you can cultivate it for yourself. And when you do, it creates an upward spiral that fuels you, makes you feel alive and is contagious; others want to be around you and engage/collaborate with you in whatever ways make sense. It comes down to your attitude about yourself and about your life. If you want to feel this energy boost (and experience all of these benefits), here are some things you can do to encourage it:
- Do the things you want to do, not because you have to do them (as my mentor Alan Cohen says, “if it’s not fun, hire it done”).
- Get plenty of rest and eat whole food daily to give yourself more energy and allow your body to work its magic on your behalf (rest, renew, restore).
- Get off the couch and out of your chair — and get more exercise — on a daily basis; whatever it is that you enjoy and that gets your body moving (something you’re enthused to do, make it fun vs. a drudge).
- Get more actively involved with your family, friends and community — and/or volunteer for something you’re passionate about.
- Do things for others just because if feels good — and for no other reason; giving it its own reward.
- Find or rekindle a passion; something that lights you up, brings you joy and just makes you feel alive.
- What do you love to do? If you know then make time for it in your schedule on a regular basis. If you don’t know, then have fun exploring and discovering what that could be. May be something you left on the shelf when you were younger with fewer responsibilities, worries and cares.
Try these on for size and let me know how you do; life’s too short to go from day-to-day, paying bills, doing chores, running errands, and just getting by. Re-ignite your passion and do what lights you up!!

About Kelli Richards
CEO of All Access Group & Trusted Advisor/KelliRichards.com
Kelli is a music industry colleague and friend who has bloomed into a trusted advisor, coach, and author known for helping entrepreneurs, innovators and creatives. She’s especially fond of those who have a bent for changing the world. She has a rich history including many years of working at Apple, and her long-term relationships with key players in Silicon Valley and Hollywood make her a respected resource around the world.
June 19, 2023
Fathers, what will be your legacy?

Fathers, what will be your legacy?
By Chandra Lynn

Whether you are a father, have a father or admire someone who is a father, you will probably agree that it is a challenging role. A father is someone who provides to the best of their abilities, and often makes personal sacrifices for the support of others.

Sometimes the fathers are also mothers and mothers have to take on the role of fathers, depending on what their kids need at the time. Its an interplay between masculine and feminine energies. Sometimes we are masculine father and are the giver, provider, and boundary setter. Other times we are the feminine mother and take on the role of receiver, nurturer and soft place to land.

We honor everyone who fathers and wields both masculine and feminine energy to give their children the complete care that they deserve.

There are traditional values associated with what a father provides, and there are unique things that each individual wants to contribute to their offspring. I invite you to think about what you want to be known for by those you parent. When they describe you to someone else, what do you want them to have received from you? When you are gone, what will they remember? What will be your legacy?

Use the comments below to share your intentions to inspire others.

Happy Father’s Day!!

June 18, 2023
When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side

When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side
By Chandra Lynn

I remember a time when I was having a particularly difficult time processing a breakup and I went to see a therapist. I went in telling him all the things I did to make the relationship work and all the things I was going to do to heal myself. And in the way that therapists do, he looked at me and asked “what would happen if you just stopped and did nothing?” The prospect of not doing anything didn’t feel comfortable at all and the question actually infuriated me. I was looking for answers and solutions, not to not do anything!

Decades later, I became friends with my yoga teacher and she said she noticed I was fidgety in the mediation part of the class and I acknowledged that it wasn’t my favorite part. I suppose I’m a “doer”. Well I’ve come to the conclusion now that I don’t like how it feels when I just sit with myself. My thoughts aren’t always empowering and my emotions can turn dark like a storm that blows in unexpectedly. The dark side has always had a magnetic pull that I’ve tried to resist.

Today, someone asked if its possible that I’ve been silently or unknowingly battling depression all of my life. Looking back, I suppose its possible. And its possible that I am still reckoning with it, but its been such a familiar state that I don’t know the difference. My life has been a quest for tools and strategies to manage this state as positively as possible. I have not mastered it entirely, but if you can relate, I have some very powerful tools to share with you that can certainly help without prescription drugs. Boy do I wish I could just pop a pill every day and feel like this is the most amazing life ever lived, but I’m resistant to doing that because of the chemical dependency and side effects.

Through Glow Living, I will describe all the things that have worked for me and that I’ve learned from others about emotional mastery, managing thoughts, self-love, and being the best person you can be in relationships with others. Join me on this journey by following my posts and sharing your experiences.

April 28, 2023
Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life

Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life
By Chandra Lynn

It’s hard to begin to describe what yoga means to me but I’ll start by saying that your teacher is everything. I did yoga for years as a physical practice to learn how to stretch and stay limber. Little did I know it could be so much more! About ten years ago, I joined a fancy schmancy health club as a gift to myself after having a baby, and to give me extra motivation to get my butt down to the gym. The gift I gave to myself began to unfold in a surprising way when I walked into Kristen Dessange’s Affirmations Yoga class.

Kristen Dessange – King Dancer Pose

I attended Kristen’s class three times per week and it was like I found my church! Who knew I could find it outside of an actual yoga studio?! Kristen is special and I wish I could share her with you (and I hope to by integrating her wisdom into some of my posts and maybe convincing her to let me interview her for you). She is unique because she eloquently delivers themes to support the unfolding of the heart (and hamstrings!) to women and men that are “householder” yogis, not the kind of practitioners you’d find oming on mountaintops. Everyone can relate to her themes because they are universally experienced, while being so personal in how they affect you in class. She is an expert at alignment and sequencing, and weaving in impactful, non-religious spiritual truths from a variety of sources including science like biology and astronomy, hindu mythology, paganism, astrology and so much more. I really could go on and on about Kristen but the point is not to give up on yoga if the classes you’ve taken haven’t been right for you. Try more teachers.

Chandra Lynn – Mermaid Pose

Yoga has made me more flexible in my body and in the way I approach challenges that come up in my life. Yogi’s have to be flexible on and off the mat, and Kristen has taught me to do more than that. She’s taught me to use the yoga mat as a safe place to explore how I am with myself when challenged. Your experience on your mat is a microcosm for how you experience life. For example, if the teacher puts you in a bound pose where its hard to breath and it challenges your flexibility to reach around to take the bind, what do you say to yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you push yourself to achieve it at any costs (even risk getting hurt)? Do you call yourself names or compare yourself to someone better than you? Have you ever experienced those same feelings in other situations in your life outside of class? This is what yoga is about. Getting to know yourself in the safety of a class with a supportive teacher will help you understand that you were born perfect and still are!

When asked why she calls her style Affirmations Yoga, Kristen says, “For me, to affirm something first requires an awareness and acknowledgment of what is. This is the first benefit of yoga. The practice reconnects you back into yourself and your life. Once we have tapped back into what is, we have a window of opportunity to realize that we are co-creating with our life. This awakening to the empowered self must come from our sovereign, authentic essence – our soul. When we tap into our soul, we reconnect back into the universal spirit of life. This is what I affirm- the full spectrum of living from your authentic self- as collaborative participation with Spirit while embodied. To affirm the fullness of LIFE means that you affirm your full SELF. It is not a Pollyanna approach to life, instead it is the full on embrace of all this you are and all that is as a way to co-participate with consciousness. That is the yoga. There is no sugar-coating it. Can we fully embrace and participate with all the flavors of life as a collaborator with it? Can we dive fully into the joy, sorrow, passion and pain? This life is not something to hide from or deny. It is the very gift of embodiment and eminence that our soul longs to live. We are meant to live this live fully, as ourselves completely, with no holding back. This is the full gift of yoga.”

I have a lot of posts planned for learning more about how certain yoga principles can transform your life. Stay tuned to learn how to root to rise and ground down into what you’re certain about to grow and handle changes that are inevitable in life. I also plan to write about how yoga helped me process grief from the loss of two best friends and my step mom. And just wait until I tell you about my Shakti Sisters, a group of the most inspiring women I’ve ever met that have turned into my chosen family, a real sisterhood!

March 28, 2023
Make It Happen!

ACTION! – FORWARD MOMENTUM – NEW BEGINNINGS

Happy Spring! Can you see the stirrings of new growth in nature? The seeds germinated during the Winter fallow period and are now cracking open with seedlings bursting forth. This is the energy of new beginnings and the perfect time to take the first steps towards your goals.

In January, we planted the seeds of inspiration, and in February we imagined manifesting them as though they were part of our lives. Now, March is the time to take action and leverage this time of year to benefit from being in rhythm with nature.

Through this month on Glow’s social channels, we are posting reminders to #MakeItHappen.

March is a time of the archetype of the Warrior/Warrioress. This means that it’s the perfect time of year to take action and progress towards your goals.

I invite you to break down the next steps towards your most meaningful goals, and start checking off the boxes. If you feel any apprehension, observe it and stay in a state of wonder about why it came up. Sometimes, fears and doubts arise as we embark on new things. Just acknowledge them and focus on all of the reasons why you want the end result of the goals you’ve set out.

Next month will be the month of the Lover archetype and it will be time to continue to manifest your desires, and take time for self-care and embodied pleasures to reward yourself for going for your goals.

I invite you to do these steps:

1) Decide on the first goal you’d like to commit to.

2) Write a list of steps necessary to accomplish it. Chunk it up so that its doable and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to complete it.

2) Journal around any fears and doubts that come up. Acknowledge them and write down your motivations to push past them. Review them as resistance arises.

3) Take the first step or two, and give yourself some kind of reward that will keep you motivated.

Make it happen & love life!

March 22, 2023
Imagine what you want to attract into your life

IMAGINATION – DREAMS – INTUITION

In January, I posted 31 pictures about what inspires me and asked what inspires you. I believe your inspirations illuminate your path. If we go towards our inspirations, our positive energy increases and we can begin to attract more inspiration.

This month, we take the next step and start imagining the things we want as if they are already part of our lives. This brings them closer to us and helps us manifest them.

When I get busy, I don’t spend time encouraging my imagination. I’m more focused on checking off boxes on my To Do list. Taking time to imagine what it would look and feel like to have what I seek is what helps me decide on what I want and what goals to prioritize.

I set clear goals and prioritize them. After that, my To Do lists get more clear about what to focus on. In some cases, I have been able to remove things after reprioritizing and realizing they are not important to me anymore.

February is a time of the archetype of the Mystic. This means that it’s the perfect time of year to begin to imagine what you want, and bring your goals into focus.

I invite you to spend time thinking about how they would impact your life. If they are worthy of setting intentions and goals around. I encourage you to journal or talk to a friend about what would change in your life. Focus on how it would feel, what problems would be solved, and what you are willing to do to attain them.

Next month will be the month of the Warriors archetype and it will be time to put all of this inspiration and imagination into action to start manifesting them.

I invite you to do these 3 steps:

1) Imagine what you want for yourself this year.

2) Journal about it to make it as real as possible and talk to friends about it.

3) Pick 2-3 that you’d like to set as goals for next month.

Use your imagination & love life!

March 8, 2023
Listen with Your Heart & Not Your Head – Guided Meditation

I’ve learned something new from my awesome coach Iris Benrubi. She told me that I can often be very analytical when I’m trying to explore a problem. This means I’m more in my head than in my heart. She recommended that I drop down into my body and listen for messages. One of the most powerful things she advised is to ask myself when I start to well up with tears “What are the tears telling me?” It actually changes the way that I’m thinking about what’s going on with me. Instead of just feeling sad or frustrated, and justifying it with all the logical reasons, I’m now listening for messages that come from my body.

She guided me through a process that allowed me to connect into my body and use my heart to listen to its powerful messages. Because it was a powerful experience for me, I decided to write my own version of the meditation and record it to share with all of you here. Please allow 20 minutes of personal “me” time. Find a safe, relaxing place (maybe using headphones to drown out distractions) and press play:

You have to be in a very relaxed open, receiving space to hear messages, but when you do, it can be very impactful and healing. Keep in mind that it can also bring up negative emotions and difficult things to process without proper support so I recommend you consult your doctor or coach if you have any concerns about this. Some people believe that meditation is a form of medication and should be done with professional support.

When you’re going through this guided exercise or starting to get teary-eyed, ask yourself what is your body telling you, and you may be surprised at some of the answers. It’s helpful when you actually have to articulate the message so either write it down for yourself or tell a trusted person so that you can gain clarity over exactly what it is.

Also be on alert for visual messages. Sometimes they’ll be a voice that’s talking to you and sometimes it will be a flash of something that you see, and both can contain powerful information.

When you get a message, take it one step further and ask why the message is important. Sometimes it’s your mind serving up a limited belief to keep you stuck as a way of keeping you safe. So although the message becomes clear it’s up to you to decide whether you wanted to except the message or dismiss it as something disempowering.

I am really interested to read any comments about your experience with this exercise. Please fill in a comment or email me at chandra@glowliving.com.

March 1, 2023
Defining Your Road Map To Success

Defining Your Road Map To Success
By Chandra Lynn as Published in I Am Entertainment Magazine

Imagine singing in front of an arena full of adoring, screaming fans, and feeling the high that comes from being center stage. Then, imagine going from the stage to your own luxury tour bus and hearing nothing but the hum of wheels on the road and feeling severely lonely and unsatisfied with life. This happened to a friend of mine who called me after a sold-out show.

Despite achieving “legendary rock star” status, he was still not satisfied with his life, even though others perceived it as the kind of success that dreams are made of. Why? For one thing, people define success differently. We may think he has it all, but those things didn’t fulfill his true inner desires and human needs. For many, success is achieving fame and fortune, but for some it’s simply getting through a single day without a drop of alcohol, while others may see success as contributing on a global level by headlining a benefit concert. The truth is that most people really don’t know what would make them deeply satisfied…even when they’ve achieved levels of success that they thought would be enough.

As children, we define what we do and don’t want for our lives based on our role models and experiences while growing up. Every situation gets filed under “Yes, I want that” or “No, I don’t want that”, which creates a subconscious road map for our lives. However, it is full of conflict because we can file multiple things that don’t work together in the same place. For example: my friend determined he wanted to be a touring musician and also wanted a wife and kids, placing him in a double-bind. While on the road, it was hard for him to find a suitable wife, but once he found a wife and had children he was challenged by the amount of touring that was required to be successful because it took him away from his family.

By the time we are adults, its common to feel frustrated by all of the challenges in life, which often leads us to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. If you feel this way now, it may seem like external circumstances are to blame, but consider the possibility that your conflicts are coming from your own “map”. This is good news because it means that although your current life conditions don’t sync with your map, you can change it. How? Change your life conditions or change your roadmap.

My friend was able to do this successfully by deciding that creating a family and being present with them was more important than touring so he began composing and recording new material in a home studio. If you feel stuck with your current life conditions, change your roadmap with these steps (ideally after doing some physical activity that puts you in an energized, positive state):

1. Think back to yourself as a child and recall any visions you had for your life. Write them out in as much detail as you can. What did you want to be when you grew up? Where did you want to live and in what kind of place? Did you want a romantic partnership and to become a parent?

2. Ask yourself, does your childhood vision match what you want from your adult view of life? If so, why? How does it serve your current needs?

3. If you determine the childhood vision does not serve you anymore, recognize that you need to replace it with a new adult vision based on how much you have grown.

4. To create a new vision, take some time to visualize how you can spend the rest of your life happy with what you have achieved. What do you need to be deeply fulfilled and utterly satisfied?

5. Connect this vision to a higher purpose. Why does this direction make you happy? Who does it serve? What does it tell you about who you are and what you’ve contributed? What do you want to be remembered for?

6. Consider any conflicts that may exist with your current life conditions, and determine which direction will give you a healthier and more successful end result.

7. Write out your new vision based on this new understanding, and be as specific as possible. After this, you will have a fairly clear vision, but you still need a clear roadmap.

When you live by a subconscious road map, it’s like driving from California to New York with only a vague sense of how to get there and why you even wanted to go there in the first place. An effective roadmap involves an integrated plan that is broken down into seven core areas of your life: spirituality, physical body, emotions & meaning, relationships, time, work & career, and finances.

To begin this process, expand your vision to include what you want to achieve in each of these areas; list out the actions you can take in each of the areas to realize your visions; set reasonable expectations for when to achieve them; and start taking action. You don’t have to live your life by default. There are a lot of things you can control to create the level of success that truly meets your needs. Aligning with your higher purpose (why you were created) and creating a healthy life vision and roadmap will send you down the path of living out your highest potential.

February 28, 2023
Getting Unstuck
Why We Get Stuck and How to Get Unstuck

I recently attended Gabby Bernstein’s book launch event at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. At the end, people lined up to ask her questions. It was fascinating to hear what they needed. Most wanted to share a life problem and ask for advice on how to get unstuck.

Listening to them made me think about where I feel stuck in my own life—and how I might help others move forward.

Common Reasons We Get Stuck

We get stuck for many reasons, but three stand out the most:
1. We can’t see the forest through the trees. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us see our situation more clearly.
2. It’s scary to change. Even if our current situation isn’t ideal, it may serve us in some way. In addition, we fear the unknown. What if change makes things worse?
3. We’re in a double bind. This means we feel “damned if we do, damned if we don’t,” which can make any decision feel impossible.
Techniques to Get Unstuck

Here are six strategies you can try to break free:

1. Face the Fear of Change

Play out the fear all the way to the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself—Is it really that bad? Can anything good come from it? If you find some positives, move toward them. Even a small step forward can boost your courage and create momentum.

2. Look at the Cost of Staying Stuck

Consider what happens if nothing changes. Who might get hurt? How bad could it get? Sometimes we can tolerate our own dissatisfaction, but what if staying stuck impacts someone you love? As a result, recognizing the ripple effect may give you the push to act.

3. Listen to Someone Who Loves You

Imagine what a person who truly wants the best for you would say. Often, we treat ourselves less kindly than we treat others. Therefore, hearing that supportive voice—whether real or imagined—can guide you toward a healthier choice.

4. Examine How Your Situation Meets Your Needs

Even difficult situations can meet emotional needs—just at low levels. Because of that, we often settle for “good enough” instead of going after what truly fulfills us. However, raising your standards almost always leads to growth, for yourself and others.

5. Commit to Growth

If you believe that “if you’re not growing, you’re dying (inside),” then challenge yourself to try something new. You may feel afraid, yet you can always adjust later. In addition, taking action builds confidence, regardless of the outcome.

6. Look for the Life Lesson

Ask yourself if this situation holds a lesson you’re ready to learn. If you delay making a choice, the Universe often makes it for you—and that can be much harder. Problems tend to repeat until we face them head-on. As a result, choosing your own path often gives you more control and peace of mind.

Final Thoughts on Getting Unstuck

Being stuck can feel heavy, frustrating, and lonely. However, you have more tools and choices than you may realize. By exploring these strategies, you can move toward a life that feels authentic and aligned.

About the Author:
Chandra Lynn is a certified transformation coach, speaker, and founder of Glow Living. She’s the author of Root-to-Rise: How to Love Life, a soulful personal growth guide to help people navigate emotional hurdles, life transitions, and personal reinvention. Through her coaching programs and writing, she empowers women to reconnect with their authentic selves and rise with purpose.

Learn more about Root-to-Rise and get your copy here.
February 21, 2023
When was your last “happy dance”?

When was the last time you did a “happy dance”?

If it’s been a while, you may be limiting your joy. There are a lot of reasons why we place limits on expressing our joy, and most of the time, we don’t even know we are doing it.

If you can relate to this and crave the feeling that comes from dancing like no one is watching, it may be worth looking at it more closely. Here are two big areas that may be holding you back…

1. Who are you spending the majority of your time with, and is there any reason why being happy around them feels uncomfortable? For example, if you are partnered with someone going through a hard time or illness, it may seem insensitive to express happiness about things in your life.

In this case, talk to them about it because it could be feeding into a cycle of them, in turn, not wanting to show happiness around you for the same reasons. See if there is a possibility that you can make a pact to consciously show more joy and happiness to raise each other’s vibrations.

2. Do you take time to stop and celebrate the successes in your life? We can place a lot of demands on ourselves and feel like our To Do lists are as long as Santa’s scroll. When overwhelmed, checking one box doesn’t seem like enough to stop and celebrate. However, many things on that list deserve to be acknowledged or celebrated when accomplished.

Consider whether some of the things on your list are worthy of a reward and determine it in advance. Make sure to give yourself the reward when you accomplish it, and tell your partner or a friend to help celebrate it with you or make sure you do.

You deserve to celebrate how awesome you are! Figure out what you deem worthy of placing special emphasis on and make it happen. Don’t wait around for someone to reward you. Reward yourself and be your own best friend!

February 14, 2023
Grow and Deepen Your Inner Circle of Friends

Grow and Deepen Your Inner Circle of Friends
By Chandra Lynn

Having worked in music marketing my entire career, my friendships have been with people who largely live outside of my area. Because other aspects of my life were so busy, I didn’t have much time to nourish my local relationships, and honestly, I didn’t know whether I could meet people nearby that I resonated with. After I had a baby 10 years ago, and decided to work from home, I started to feel the need for local friends. I could see the appeal of having somewhere to go, like on the TV show Cheers (but not at a bar), to connect with people. But I needed a like-minded tribe.

Once I started feeling the need for close personal relationships with local friends, I opened up to the possibility of meeting people through yoga and the gym, and also reconnecting with friends that I met in past jobs, school, and in my younger years. The amazing thing was how many quality souls were also open to connecting and forming new friendships.

After years of going to the gym and not meeting anyone, I met a small group of women in my yoga class that changed my life dramatically. We not only did yoga, we found ways to connect and get to know each other. We connected about health and fitness, intimate relationships, and helped each other find our passions in our careers and in the artistic world. We supported each other through divorces, career changes, child-rearing issues and much more. We also learned how to have fun together with trips to hot springs, yoga workshops, frivolous photo shoots, and girl’s nights out. Some of us gather to create women’s circles where we explore topics such as spirituality, personal growth, rituals and other things that support our lives in reaching our goals and potential.

Now, instead of going to bars to party, we look forward to our circles and our fun times together, and we don’t need alcohol to have fun. Don’t get me wrong, we’re known to throw back bottles of champagne, but we don’t need it to feel high on anything but the connection that we have in the deep love and support that we bring to each other’s lives.

I call this close circle of friends my Shakti Sisters. They know who they are and how much they mean to me because we don’t live in the land of the unspoken. We tell each other what we mean to our lives and actively plan time to spend together because we desire the connection and how much we can learn from each other’s differences and core competencies.

If you would like to cultivate a close circle of friends like this, I recommend the following:

Open yourself up to the possibility that the woman standing next to you in yoga class, at the supermarket, or picking kids up from school could be your new bestie. Obviously not everyone is going to connect at that high of a frequency. However, it starts with you being open to the possibility and attracting new friends.

Ask them a question about themselves to show your interest. How they answer will tell you a lot about them. Through a dialogue with them, you can sense their energy and whether they are somebody that you would like to learn more about.

If this new acquaintance seems interesting, invite them to coffee or happy hour to discuss something you have in common, like yoga, your kids, your careers, or other hobbies.

Follow up quickly to set a time and have a relaxed approach to the experience. They may or may not be somebody that you’ll want to keep in touch with after the initial meeting. But if they are, you can connect through social media and invite them to events or other things that you think they may be interested in.

Friendships take time to build and some people are more open than others. And if they can’t make a meeting, it may be that they are super busy even though they do want to get to know you. So try again. But if they seem like they’re too busy for you after a couple offers then they are not in the same place with welcoming new friends and allocating time for them as a priority.

One of the most amazing experiences with this has been the women that I’ve met through other women. Many times when you really connect with someone, they have friends that are also like-minded and may even connect with you on a deeper level than the person that you met through. So check out their friend groups by participating in things that they invite you to as well.

I always suggest new friends discuss some things that are normally a bit unspoken, like how often they are available to stay connected. Sometimes they want to text all the time and sometimes they only can meet with you a couple times a week and use texting just to confirm logistics. Everyone has personal preferences for how they’d like to communicate and how much time they have to spend. It’s important to honor that and also be clear in your communication about your own preferences. This safeguards the relationship from communication problems down the road because each person knows what to expect and the best ways to communicate with each other.

Romantic relationships and jobs come and go, but true friends will stand by you as witnesses and supporters for your entire life. If you do the work of communicating properly, nurturing a relationship, staying connected, and keeping the give and take balance in check, your friendships can offer the most fun, supportive and enlightening experiences of your life.

January 13, 2023