Glow Living

Author: Chandra Lynn

  • Steve Vai Shares How To Unlock Your Unique Creative Potential

    Steve Vai Shares How To Unlock Your Unique Creative Potential

    Steve Vai Shares How To Unlock Your Unique Creative Potential

    You and your creative desires are unique! Guitar legend Steve Vai shares how to unlock your unique creative expression and overcome egoic fears.

    WATCH

    LISTEN

     

  • Recommitting to What’s Meaningful

    Recommitting to What’s Meaningful

    January brought huge change in our community. One of our member’s lost his wife; another member landed a huge music endorsement deal; my biggest marketing client went from a secure retainer to occasional projects; and many more stories of radical change are being relayed every day. Some changes are good and some are hard to see the gifts they bring in the moment.

    What I am taking away is how important (now more than ever) that we recommit to what is meaningful to us. We can’t take anything for granted. In one day, our whole entire life can change, and bring uncertainty which can lead to fear or excitement.

    Two of our human needs are certainty and uncertainty. Things that cause uncertainty are often feared, however we actually need it to add excitement, spice and growth to our life. If you are a someone that craves a lot of certainty and security, you may not welcome change despite its blessings. I’ve found that the more uncertainty we can handle, the happier we are. Stability is comfortable but it can also cause rigidity and lack of growth. Its important to balance certainty and uncertainty with uncertainty and variety.

    When in uncertain times, which we are most certainly in, I invite you too look closely at your need for certainty and any fears that come up without it. Then consider all of the things you actually do have in your life that are certain and stable. Root down by putting your focus, attention and energy into those things.

    For example, I once coached a man through a divorce and he was at a point where he was only able to focus on how much things were changing, loss and fear. I was able to show him areas of certainty such as his stable job and income, child that still wanted his love, friends and family that were there for him, and other things he could count on. Once he brought his focus back to these areas, he felt infinitely more secure and was able to take the necessary actions to dissolve a bad relationship in an amicable way. He is now thriving and recently expressed his gratitude because he just got a promotion and is happy with his new path.

    Currently, I have no idea where my next dollar is coming from. And, I know it will come. I believe in abundance and have already seen new opportunities arise in a matter of days. I’m seeing this transitionary time as an opportunity to evaluate what I want and create a renewed commitment to attracting the right things. I’ve never once lost interest in Glow Living, but I have feared that it will not be able to sustain me financially. I don’t know if I will ever monetize my efforts, but when I put my focus on it, I feel like I’m being true to myself. I have also experienced enough confirmations to know I’m on the right path and to stay the course. So here I am. Here we are.

    Let’s do this…uncertainty, excitement, fear and all!!

  • Re-ignite Your Passion!

    Re-ignite Your Passion!

    Written by Glow Circles Member Kelli Richards

    A topic has been brewing in my mind over the past couple of weeks that I wanted to touch on today; and that is the power of enthusiasm, energy and vitality. I think what sparked it was going to a couple of concerts during the past couple of weeks — Rick Springfield and Earth, Wind & Fire — both of whom have been performing for over 45 years each (and the lead members all in their mid-to-late sixties). Same thing when I saw Herb Alpert and Lani Hall play a show last Fall (he was 80 at the time).

    None of these guys has to work or tour any more. But all of them exuded passion, vibrancy, energy and vitality. They love what they’re doing, they get high on the interaction with their audiences, and clearly they’re still having a great time performing and entertaining. It’s inspiring and infectious to watch…

    But you don’t have to be an artist to experience the same level of energy and enthusiasm; you can cultivate it for yourself. And when you do, it creates an upward spiral that fuels you, makes you feel alive and is contagious; others want to be around you and engage/collaborate with you in whatever ways make sense. It comes down to your attitude about yourself and about your life. If you want to feel this energy boost (and experience all of these benefits), here are some things you can do to encourage it:

    • Do the things you want to do, not because you have to do them (as my mentor Alan Cohen says, “if it’s not fun, hire it done”).
    • Get plenty of rest and eat whole food daily to give yourself more energy and allow your body to work its magic on your behalf (rest, renew, restore).
    • Get off the couch and out of your chair — and get more exercise — on a daily basis; whatever it is that you enjoy and that gets your body moving (something you’re enthused to do, make it fun vs. a drudge).
    • Get more actively involved with your family, friends and community — and/or volunteer for something you’re passionate about.
    • Do things for others just because if feels good — and for no other reason; giving it its own reward.
    • Find or rekindle a passion; something that lights you up, brings you joy and just makes you feel alive.
    • What do you love to do? If you know then make time for it in your schedule on a regular basis. If you don’t know, then have fun exploring and discovering what that could be. May be something you left on the shelf when you were younger with fewer responsibilities, worries and cares.

    Try these on for size and let me know how you do; life’s too short to go from day-to-day, paying bills, doing chores, running errands, and just getting by. Re-ignite your passion and do what lights you up!!

    Screen Shot 2016-08-18 at 9.29.55 PMAbout Kelli Richards
    CEO of All Access Group  & Trusted Advisor/KelliRichards.com
    Kelli is a music industry colleague and friend who has bloomed into a trusted advisor, coach, and author known for helping entrepreneurs, innovators and creatives. She’s especially fond of those who have a bent for changing the world. She has a rich history including many years of working at Apple, and her long-term relationships with key players in Silicon Valley and Hollywood make her a respected resource around the world.

  • Fathers, what will be your legacy?

    Fathers, what will be your legacy?

    Fathers, what will be your legacy?
    By Chandra Lynn

    Whether you are a father, have a father or admire someone who is a father, you will probably agree that it is a challenging role. A father is someone who provides to the best of their abilities, and often makes personal sacrifices for the support of others.

    dadsdayfinal2Sometimes the fathers are also mothers and mothers have to take on the role of fathers, depending on what their kids need at the time. Its an interplay between masculine and feminine energies. Sometimes we are masculine father and are the giver, provider, and boundary setter. Other times we are the feminine mother and take on the role of receiver, nurturer and soft place to land.

    We honor everyone who fathers and wields both masculine and feminine energy to give their children the complete care that they deserve.

    There are traditional values associated with what a father provides, and there are unique things that each individual wants to contribute to their offspring. I invite you to think about what you want to be known for by those you parent. When they describe you to someone else, what do you want them to have received from you? When you are gone, what will they remember? What will be your legacy?

    Use the comments below to share your intentions to inspire others.

    Happy Father’s Day!!

  • Why am I here?

    Why am I here?

     By Ravisankar Nadiyam
    A Student of Life (and Glow Circles Member)

    raviIs there a purpose to life? I used to think that I am here for something and finding that out is my journey. This thought started off when I observed the differences between people and thought to myself – Why does one person have two healthy feet while one is lame? Why does one person travel in a car while the other sits by the roadside and begs? Why are we all different?

    Since I could not find that out, I thought of finding out why I was the way I was. My mother is religious and my dad is spiritual. I spent a lot of my childhood with my maternal family who were all religious. My Dad never objected to anyone going to a temple though he did ask why one had to go to the temple. His rules for living are (1) do not hurt anyone intentionally (2) do good to others if you can and are able (3) do what your heart tells you to do (4) take responsibility for all your actions and it’s results. Come to think of it, I did not get it until a few years back. I spent a lot of my childhood with my grandmother and the maternal family in general and the answer to any question that I had was the same – it was god. But I could not accept that god will make a person unhappy or punish a person for doing something wrong. I was told that god is everything and in all of us. So I questioned why I was being reprimanded for something I did ‘wrong’ according to the elders if it was in fact god that was doing this. If god is in me and in everyone, how can something someone does be wrong? Well, my grandmother thought that I was weird. So you see, my search for the answers and to know the purpose of life started early.

    Later on, a thought crossed my mind, my constantly day dreaming mind! Since we always consider anything that we do as a means to an end or as the process to achieve something, that is why I wanted to know the purpose – the end – the destination. That’s the time I started reading or meeting people who were talking things like ‘living in the moment’, ‘enjoy the journey’ etc. This is something that I did notice – that my though process would draw me to people or books that are related to the thoughts of that time. Is that manifestation?

    During a period in my journey, I was introduced to the concept of nirvana and related to that was also the concept of re-birth or reincarnation. I was told about the journey of the soul and that made sense to me at that time and answered my question about why we are all different and some seem to be happier than others. (Journey of the Soul is addressed as a separate blog) Then, for a while, I got hooked on the concept of nirvana – that the purpose of the life here is to find nirvana, to go back to the bliss where one came from. It also tied in with karma, reincarnation, keeping accounts of the deeds done over several births etc. This was also the time that I got back in touch with meditation. I had felt right from my childhood that what I need to do is to meditate. And then it was frustrating that I was not doing that. It really was. Something like people wanting to exercise and then feeling bad that they are not doing any exercise. It became even more frustrating as this was what I was to do to attain nirvana fast, right?! Anyway, I got into meditating regularly early in ’10. (My Meditation experiences are in a separate blog.)

    This was the period that I also got introduced to what is generally called ‘new age spiritualism’. I was going berserk looking for the purpose as more and more angles, let us call it dimensions (as it is a better sounding new agey word!) started to appear. The galactic federation, plaeidians, syrians (not from the Country by that name but from the star sirus) , rainbow children, Enki, Enlil, Nibiru, etc were everyday terms at that time. This went on for many years. I met many people around the globe who thought on the same lines. Some of these people had all these thoughts in their head and had not had anyone to talk to. They felt good to know that there were others who believed them as they had never read or seen any videos or had any other exposure other than having these thoughts in their head. Now, that I found really interesting and gave my beliefs a great level of legitimacy. The more I researched into Atlantis, the pyramids, ancient cultures of the Incas and the Mayans; and add to that my existing belief in life outside of Earth and that there was more than what our brains can perceive, this was becoming hugely complex and truly mind-boggling. So much so that at one point I said to myself that I need to accept that there is no way I will get to the bottom of all this and that I need to simplify my existence to what the human brain can fathom. I decided that indeed there is a great design and probably a designer in action but that I need to dig deeper into myself and not look externally.

    About Ravisankar Nadiyam

    Having started the search to find answers from a very early age, Ravisankar – Ravi to friends – now says, “I don’t want to know all the answers as I am the answer and the questioner”. His self-exploratory journey inwards was helped by his travels to over 40 Countries. He loves connecting with as many people and places as possible. With a keen eye for photography, this ex-sales manager of an American corporation loves writing and feels that he connects energetically with whoever reads what he writes. He understands that his is not the only perspective on any subject and is curious to know what your take on the subject is. Write to him at inhalexhale2012@gmail.com.

    For more posts by Ravi, visit https://ravisankardotin.wordpress.com/

  • Journey Through Menopause

    Journey Through Menopause

    By Glow Living Member Natalie Nickel Kavanaugh

    Recently when opening Facebook, a memory came up from 2009. I posted that I had gained 15 lbs seemingly overnight. Even though I wasn’t doing anything differently, I suddenly had a muffin top and couldn’t button my jeans. I was 46 years so I thought middle age. Ugh, middle age. Along with the weight gain, I started to experience severe anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia. I made an appointment with my GP to discuss the anxiety and he recommended I see a shrink. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and during my first visit, he diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed an antidepressant for anxiety and a benzodiazepine for insomnia. I left his office thinking, ok, now I know what is wrong with me. I have a mental disorder.

    I didn’t advertise that I was on psych meds. People were being prescribed antidepressants left and right but I felt embarrassed. They did seem to help. I felt less anxiety and slept better. Although, I continued to gain weight and it was all in my stomach. There were days when my stomach was so bloated, I looked 5 months pregnant. During my annual Advanced Gynecology appointment I told my doctor about my symptoms and she said I was probably in perimenopause, the gradual transition when the ovaries begin to make less estrogen. I took the FSH blood test and yes, my estrogen levels were low. I was on the journey through menopause and it could take years.

    I asked my mom about menopause and she said it was no big deal. She had a hysterectomy, went on hormone replacement, and was just fine. My sisters are a decade older than me so I asked them. Neither one had a problem. None of my friends my age seemed to be suffering. Each woman experiences different symptoms. Some have no symptoms at all. I seemed to have every symptom. I grew up thinking that when we go through menopause, we dry up like raisins, put on our elastic waist pants, let our hair go gray and stop wearing makeup. Although my mom said it was no big deal, that is precisely what she did. It was the end of her sexuality. I still felt young and sexy and had a daughter in kindergarten. I didn’t want that to happen to me.

    I plodded along for several years feeling pretty much awful but telling myself that this is what happens to every woman. Oddly every post-menopausal woman I talked to about it didn’t seem to have much advice. Others didn’t want to talk about it. I even had a female coworker make a snide remark about another female coworker who was suffering through the transition. Rather than it be a right of passage that we all support each other through, it seemed like it was a taboo topic. Perhaps that was just the women I talked to but even my ob/gyn seemed uncomfortable. I could tell she just didn’t know what to say, as if its all just a mystery. She did tell me she watched a businesswoman, a CEO, fall apart. Oh great, I thought. Even the powerful get taken out by this. Weight gain, irritability, depression, anxiety, peeing when you laugh or cough (incontinence), hot flashes and night sweats, heart palpitations, memory issues – PMS on steroids – that could potentially last years.

    The hot flashes started in 2014. I had heard about them but didn’t really know what to expect. I didn’t glow and flush, I turned bright red and sweat would drip down my face. I would wake up every night at 3 am sopping wet and cold. On top of that, I started experiencing memory lapses and would forget what I was saying mid-sentence. I was achy and bloated and miserable. I was interviewing for a job at the time. I remember being in an interview when a bead of sweat rolled down the side of my cheek. I didn’t get that job or any other job during that time. It’s like I had a flashing sign over my head that said “Menopausal Woman”. My last period was epic. I had an ovarian cyst that burst and the pain was excruciating. My lady parts decided to end with an explosion. Fitting for the five-year build up.

    I tried black cohosh, flaxseed, herbal teas, and acupuncture. I practiced yoga, meditated, walked, and swam. I used clary sage, peppermint oil, lavender, geranium, basil, and ylang-ylang. I carried crystals. They helped somewhat but not completely. I was still very symptomatic even after my period ended in 2014. For two more years I suffered. Finally, last December 2016, I decided I needed to try a different approach. I was still taking antidepressants and benzos. They were prescribed, I did not abuse them. After a while, though they tend to stop working because our bodies build up resistance and, to top it off, we become physically addicted to them. I certainly did not want to take a higher dose which is what my doctor suggested. I was also drinking more wine than ever. The vicious circle of feeling horrible, drinking, taking psych meds, and feeling horrible again was taking over my life. All of it had to stop. I started the new year by cleansing my body of everything. I weaned myself off of the psych meds which was very difficult. I quit drinking. I quit coffee as well. I didn’t sleep for weeks but I was determined to get all the toxic substances out of my body. I started taking D3, Magnesium, and B12. As suddenly as the weight came on, it melted off. I lost 27 lbs in 3 months.

    All the symptoms melted away as well except for the hot flashes and night sweats. I tried to cope with the hot flashes but my quality of life was pretty bad. Dripping sweat all the time is not fun! I went on a very low-dose birth control pill that I take every other day. It is a combo of estrogen and progestin. Bioidenticals don’t work for me because they contain soy and I can’t take soy. Now, apart from the pill, I am off meds and alcohol and have cut back considerably on caffeine. It is wonderful. I feel like I have my life back! People tell me how great I look. I feel like I made it through to the other side and am able to tell women about it. I wish I had known all of the things I know now before the journey began. When our bodies go through this change, we have to be kind to ourselves and our bodies, almost as if we are pregnant. Beer, wine, and cocktails are empty calories and can actually slow down our metabolism. I’m sure my evening vino was wreaking havoc, making me bloated and the hot flashes worse. Alcohol and coffee can add to irritability, anxiety, anger, rage, and depression. Even two glasses or two cups of coffee per day can be too much. I’m sure an occasional glass or cup is fine, but I feel so great I decided to stop indefinitely. Taking psych meds can be helpful but add their own level of problems if we are addictive personalities. Doctors should be aware and careful when prescribing. Our bodies are changing, hormone levels are changing. Substances can add to everything getting out of balance.

    Women need to embrace this time. We need to talk to each other and compare notes. It’s a different experience for all of us but we can learn from each other. It’s not the end of our womanhood, it’s the beginning of the second half of our lives. We are breaking free of the bondage of periods and worrying about getting pregnant. It’s a time to rejoice! We don’t have to get old and dry up like raisins and it’s certainly not a mental disorder. I look forward to a time when menopausal and post-menopausal women are revered. We are incredibly strong and wise and sexy. I’m even thinking of letting my hair go gray. Elastic waist pants? Only if they are yoga pants.

    Namaste

  • When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side

    When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side

    When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side
    By Chandra Lynn

    I remember a time when I was having a particularly difficult time processing a breakup and I went to see a therapist. I went in telling him all the things I did to make the relationship work and all the things I was going to do to heal myself. And in the way that therapists do, he looked at me and asked “what would happen if you just stopped and did nothing?” The prospect of not doing anything didn’t feel comfortable at all and the question actually infuriated me. I was looking for answers and solutions, not to not do anything! depression

    Decades later, I became friends with my yoga teacher and she said she noticed I was fidgety in the mediation part of the class and I acknowledged that it wasn’t my favorite part. I suppose I’m a “doer”. Well I’ve come to the conclusion now that I don’t like how it feels when I just sit with myself. My thoughts aren’t always empowering and my emotions can turn dark like a storm that blows in unexpectedly. The dark side has always had a magnetic pull that I’ve tried to resist.

    Today, someone asked if its possible that I’ve been silently or unknowingly battling depression all of my life. Looking back, I suppose its possible. And its possible that I am still reckoning with it, but its been such a familiar state that I don’t know the difference. My life has been a quest for tools and strategies to manage this state as positively as possible. I have not mastered it entirely, but if you can relate, I have some very powerful tools to share with you that can certainly help without prescription drugs. Boy do I wish I could just pop a pill every day and feel like this is the most amazing life ever lived, but I’m resistant to doing that because of the chemical dependency and side effects.

    Through Glow Living, I will describe all the things that have worked for me and that I’ve learned from others about emotional mastery, managing thoughts, self-love, and being the best person you can be in relationships with others. Join me on this journey by following my posts and sharing your experiences.

  • Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life

    Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life

    Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life
    By Chandra Lynn

    It’s hard to begin to describe what yoga means to me but I’ll start by saying that your teacher is everything. I did yoga for years as a physical practice to learn how to stretch and stay limber. Little did I know it could be so much more! About ten years ago, I joined a fancy schmancy health club as a gift to myself after having a baby, and to give me extra motivation to get my butt down to the gym. The gift I gave to myself began to unfold in a surprising way when I walked into Kristen Dessange’s Affirmations Yoga class.

    IMG_6666 copy
    Kristen Dessange – King Dancer Pose

    I attended Kristen’s class three times per week and it was like I found my church! Who knew I could find it outside of an actual yoga studio?! Kristen is special and I wish I could share her with you (and I hope to by integrating her wisdom into some of my posts and maybe convincing her to let me interview her for you). She is unique because she eloquently delivers themes to support the unfolding of the heart (and hamstrings!) to women and men that are “householder” yogis, not the kind of practitioners you’d find oming on mountaintops. Everyone can relate to her themes because they are universally experienced, while being so personal in how they affect you in class. She is an expert at alignment and sequencing, and weaving in impactful, non-religious spiritual truths from a variety of sources including science like biology and astronomy, hindu mythology, paganism, astrology and so much more. I really could go on and on about Kristen but the point is not to give up on yoga if the classes you’ve taken haven’t been right for you. Try more teachers.

    mermaidbw
    Chandra Lynn – Mermaid Pose

    Yoga has made me more flexible in my body and in the way I approach challenges that come up in my life. Yogi’s have to be flexible on and off the mat, and Kristen has taught me to do more than that. She’s taught me to use the yoga mat as a safe place to explore how I am with myself when challenged. Your experience on your mat is a microcosm for how you experience life. For example, if the teacher puts you in a bound pose where its hard to breath and it challenges your flexibility to reach around to take the bind, what do you say to yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you push yourself to achieve it at any costs (even risk getting hurt)? Do you call yourself names or compare yourself to someone better than you? Have you ever experienced those same feelings in other situations in your life outside of class? This is what yoga is about. Getting to know yourself in the safety of a class with a supportive teacher will help you understand that you were born perfect and still are!

    When asked why she calls her style Affirmations Yoga, Kristen says, “For me, to affirm something first requires an awareness and acknowledgment of what is. This is the first benefit of yoga. The practice reconnects you back into yourself and your life.  Once we have tapped back into what is, we have a window of opportunity to realize that we are co-creating with our life. This awakening to the empowered self must come from our sovereign, authentic essence – our soul. When we tap into our soul, we reconnect back into the universal spirit of life. This is what I affirm- the full spectrum of living from your authentic self- as collaborative participation with Spirit while embodied. To affirm the fullness of LIFE means that you affirm your full SELF. It is not a Pollyanna approach to life, instead it is the full on embrace of all this you are and all that is as a way to co-participate with consciousness.  That is the yoga. There is no sugar-coating it. Can we fully embrace and participate with all the flavors of life as a collaborator with it? Can we dive fully into the joy, sorrow, passion and pain? This life is not something to hide from or deny. It is the very gift of embodiment and eminence that our soul longs to live. We are meant to live this live fully, as ourselves completely, with no holding back. This is the full gift of yoga.”

    I have a lot of posts planned for learning more about how certain yoga principles can transform your life. Stay tuned to learn how to root to rise and ground down into what you’re certain about to grow and handle changes that are inevitable in life. I also plan to write about how yoga helped me process grief from the loss of two best friends and my step mom. And just wait until I tell you about my Shakti Sisters, a group of the most inspiring women I’ve ever met that have turned into my chosen family, a real sisterhood!

  • Listen with Your Heart & Not Your Head – Guided Meditation

    Listen with Your Heart & Not Your Head – Guided Meditation

    I’ve learned something new from my awesome coach Iris Benrubi. She told me that I can often be very analytical when I’m trying to explore a problem. This means I’m more in my head than in my heart. She recommended that I drop down into my body and listen for messages. One of the most powerful things she advised is to ask myself when I start to well up with tears “What are the tears telling me?” It actually changes the way that I’m thinking about what’s going on with me. Instead of just feeling sad or frustrated, and justifying it with all the logical reasons, I’m now listening for messages that come from my body. 

    She guided me through a process that allowed me to connect into my body and use my heart to listen to its powerful messages. Because it was a powerful experience for me, I decided to write my own version of the meditation and record it to share with all of you here. Please allow 20 minutes of personal “me” time. Find a safe, relaxing place (maybe using headphones to drown out distractions) and press play:

    You have to be in a very relaxed open, receiving space to hear messages, but when you do, it can be very impactful and healing. Keep in mind that it can also bring up negative emotions and difficult things to process without proper support so I recommend you consult your doctor or coach if you have any concerns about this. Some people believe that meditation is a form of medication and should be done with professional support. 

    When you’re going through this guided exercise or starting to get teary-eyed, ask yourself what is your body telling you, and you may be surprised at some of the answers. It’s helpful when you actually have to articulate the message so either write it down for yourself or tell a trusted person so that you can gain clarity over exactly what it is.

    Also be on alert for visual messages. Sometimes they’ll be a voice that’s talking to you and sometimes it will be a flash of something that you see, and both can contain powerful information.

    When you get a message, take it one step further and ask why the message is important. Sometimes it’s your mind serving up a limited belief to keep you stuck as a way of keeping you safe. So although the message becomes clear it’s up to you to decide whether you wanted to except the message or dismiss it as something disempowering.

    I am really interested to read any comments about your experience with this exercise. Please fill in a comment or email me at chandra@glowliving.com.

  • Defining Your Road Map To Success

    Defining Your Road Map To Success

    Defining Your Road Map To Success
    By Chandra Lynn as Published in I Am Entertainment Magazine mic

    Imagine singing in front of an arena full of adoring, screaming fans, and feeling the high that comes from being center stage. Then, imagine going from the stage to your own luxury tour bus and hearing nothing but the hum of wheels on the road and feeling severely lonely and unsatisfied with life. This happened to a friend of mine who called me after a sold-out show.

    Despite achieving “legendary rock star” status, he was still not satisfied with his life, even though others perceived it as the kind of success that dreams are made of. Why? For one thing, people define success differently. We may think he has it all, but those things didn’t fulfill his true inner desires and human needs. For many, success is achieving fame and fortune, but for some it’s simply getting through a single day without a drop of alcohol, while others may see success as contributing on a global level by headlining a benefit concert. The truth is that most people really don’t know what would make them deeply satisfied…even when they’ve achieved levels of success that they thought would be enough. little-boy-playing-electric-guitar

    As children, we define what we do and don’t want for our lives based on our role models and experiences while growing up. Every situation gets filed under “Yes, I want that” or “No, I don’t want that”, which creates a subconscious road map for our lives. However, it is full of conflict because we can file multiple things that don’t work together in the same place. For example: my friend determined he wanted to be a touring musician and also wanted a wife and kids, placing him in a double-bind. While on the road, it was hard for him to find a suitable wife, but once he found a wife and had children he was challenged by the amount of touring that was required to be successful because it took him away from his family.

    By the time we are adults, its common to feel frustrated by all of the challenges in life, which often leads us to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. If you feel this way now, it may seem like external circumstances are to blame, but consider the possibility that your conflicts are coming from your own “map”. This is good news because it means that although your current life conditions don’t sync with your map, you can change it. How? Change your life conditions or change your roadmap.guitar-player-on-road-v2

    My friend was able to do this successfully by deciding that creating a family and being present with them was more important than touring so he began composing and recording new material in a home studio. If you feel stuck with your current life conditions, change your roadmap with these steps (ideally after doing some physical activity that puts you in an energized, positive state):

    1. Think back to yourself as a child and recall any visions you had for your life. Write them out in as much detail as you can. What did you want to be when you grew up? Where did you want to live and in what kind of place? Did you want a romantic partnership and to become a parent?

    2. Ask yourself, does your childhood vision match what you want from your adult view of life? If so, why? How does it serve your current needs?

    3. If you determine the childhood vision does not serve you anymore, recognize that you need to replace it with a new adult vision based on how much you have grown.

    4. To create a new vision, take some time to visualize how you can spend the rest of your life happy with what you have achieved. What do you need to be deeply fulfilled and utterly satisfied?

    5. Connect this vision to a higher purpose. Why does this direction make you happy? Who does it serve? What does it tell you about who you are and what you’ve contributed? What do you want to be remembered for?

    6. Consider any conflicts that may exist with your current life conditions, and determine which direction will give you a healthier and more successful end result.

    7. Write out your new vision based on this new understanding, and be as specific as possible. AmericaRoute(bl)After this, you will have a fairly clear vision, but you still need a clear roadmap.

    When you live by a subconscious road map, it’s like driving from California to New York with only a vague sense of how to get there and why you even wanted to go there in the first place. An effective roadmap involves an integrated plan that is broken down into seven core areas of your life: spirituality, physical body, emotions & meaning, relationships, time, work & career, and finances.

    To begin this process, expand your vision to include what you want to achieve in each of these areas; list out the actions you can take in each of the areas to realize your visions; set reasonable expectations for when to achieve them; and start taking action. You don’t have to live your life by default. There are a lot of things you can control to create the level of success that truly meets your needs. Aligning with your higher purpose (why you were created) and creating a healthy life vision and roadmap will send you down the path of living out your highest potential.

  • Getting Unstuck

    Getting Unstuck

    Why We Get Stuck and How to Get Unstuck

    I recently attended Gabby Bernstein’s book launch event at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. At the end, people lined up to ask her questions. It was fascinating to hear what they needed. Most wanted to share a life problem and ask for advice on how to get unstuck.

    Listening to them made me think about where I feel stuck in my own life—and how I might help others move forward.

    Common Reasons We Get Stuck

    We get stuck for many reasons, but three stand out the most:

    1. We can’t see the forest through the trees. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us see our situation more clearly.

    2. It’s scary to change. Even if our current situation isn’t ideal, it may serve us in some way. In addition, we fear the unknown. What if change makes things worse?

    3. We’re in a double bind. This means we feel “damned if we do, damned if we don’t,” which can make any decision feel impossible.

    Techniques to Get Unstuck

    Here are six strategies you can try to break free:

    1. Face the Fear of Change

    Play out the fear all the way to the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself—Is it really that bad? Can anything good come from it? If you find some positives, move toward them. Even a small step forward can boost your courage and create momentum.

    2. Look at the Cost of Staying Stuck

    Consider what happens if nothing changes. Who might get hurt? How bad could it get? Sometimes we can tolerate our own dissatisfaction, but what if staying stuck impacts someone you love? As a result, recognizing the ripple effect may give you the push to act.

    3. Listen to Someone Who Loves You

    Imagine what a person who truly wants the best for you would say. Often, we treat ourselves less kindly than we treat others. Therefore, hearing that supportive voice—whether real or imagined—can guide you toward a healthier choice.

    4. Examine How Your Situation Meets Your Needs

    Even difficult situations can meet emotional needs—just at low levels. Because of that, we often settle for “good enough” instead of going after what truly fulfills us. However, raising your standards almost always leads to growth, for yourself and others.

    5. Commit to Growth

    If you believe that “if you’re not growing, you’re dying (inside),” then challenge yourself to try something new. You may feel afraid, yet you can always adjust later. In addition, taking action builds confidence, regardless of the outcome.

    6. Look for the Life Lesson

    Ask yourself if this situation holds a lesson you’re ready to learn. If you delay making a choice, the Universe often makes it for you—and that can be much harder. Problems tend to repeat until we face them head-on. As a result, choosing your own path often gives you more control and peace of mind.

    Final Thoughts on Getting Unstuck

    Being stuck can feel heavy, frustrating, and lonely. However, you have more tools and choices than you may realize. By exploring these strategies, you can move toward a life that feels authentic and aligned.

    About the Author:
    Chandra Lynn is a certified transformation coach, speaker, and founder of Glow Living. She’s the author of Root-to-Rise: How to Love Life, a soulful personal growth guide to help people navigate emotional hurdles, life transitions, and personal reinvention. Through her coaching programs and writing, she empowers women to reconnect with their authentic selves and rise with purpose.

    Learn more about Root-to-Rise and get your copy here.

  • When was your last “happy dance”?

    When was your last “happy dance”?

    When was the last time you did a “happy dance”?

    If it’s been a while, you may be limiting your joy. There are a lot of reasons why we place limits on expressing our joy, and most of the time, we don’t even know we are doing it.

    If you can relate to this and crave the feeling that comes from dancing like no one is watching, it may be worth looking at it more closely. Here are two big areas that may be holding you back…

    1. Who are you spending the majority of your time with, and is there any reason why being happy around them feels uncomfortable? For example, if you are partnered with someone going through a hard time or illness, it may seem insensitive to express happiness about things in your life.

    In this case, talk to them about it because it could be feeding into a cycle of them, in turn, not wanting to show happiness around you for the same reasons. See if there is a possibility that you can make a pact to consciously show more joy and happiness to raise each other’s vibrations.

    2. Do you take time to stop and celebrate the successes in your life? We can place a lot of demands on ourselves and feel like our To Do lists are as long as Santa’s scroll. When overwhelmed, checking one box doesn’t seem like enough to stop and celebrate. However, many things on that list deserve to be acknowledged or celebrated when accomplished.

    Consider whether some of the things on your list are worthy of a reward and determine it in advance. Make sure to give yourself the reward when you accomplish it, and tell your partner or a friend to help celebrate it with you or make sure you do.

    You deserve to celebrate how awesome you are! Figure out what you deem worthy of placing special emphasis on and make it happen. Don’t wait around for someone to reward you. Reward yourself and be your own best friend!