How to Get Unstuck
I went to Gabby Bernstein’s book launch event at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. People lined up to ask questions at the end and it was interesting to hear what they needed. Most wanted to detail a life problem and ask for advice on how to get unstuck. It made me think about where I’m stuck and what I can do to help people get unstuck.
It occurred to me we get stuck for a variety of reasons. The top three that come to mind are:
1. We can’t see the forest through the trees and need help from others to see our situations more clearly.
2. Its scary to change our current situation because its serving us in some way, or there is a fear of the unknown. What if the change makes things worse?
3. We are in a double bind which means we feel damned if they do and damned if we don’t.
To get unstuck, there are a variety of techniques to try. For example:
1. Play out the fear of change all the way to the worst case scenario and then evaluate if its really all that bad or if there is anything good about it. If there is some good, move towards it. Just try it and feel good about your courage to grow in the most positive direction possible.
2. Ask what the costs are if you stay stuck, and play it out to the worst case scenario. If nothing changes, who will be hurt and how bad can it get? You may be able to continue to be dissatisfied, but can you tolerate someone else getting negatively affected by it, for example, a child or someone else you love and are responsible for influencing with your choices.
3. Ask yourself what someone who loves and wants the best for you would advise. Sometimes, we aren’t as compassionate with ourselves as we are with those we love. Hearing and trusting their voice in our head can be used as a guide for what to do.
4. Look at how the current situation is serving your needs, even at low levels. Sometimes we settle for low level fulfillment instead of going for the thing that will really fill us up because its safer to go stick with the devil you know instead of the one you don’t. Consider the positive benefits of raising your standards. I was once told that “its never a bad thing to raise your standards.” This goes for yourself and for others.
5. Ask yourself if you have a true commitment to growing. If you do, and you recognize that if you aren’t growing, you’re dying (inside), then consider what you’ll do to grow. Will you take a chance and try something new, even if its scary and there is no guarantee it will work out? Can you feel good about yourself for being brave enough to just try it and course correct later if need be?
6. Consider that there is a life lesson in this situation, and determine what it is. Ask yourself if you are ready to learn it now, and if not, why. Are you ready for the Universe to take over and make the change for you? Have you ever noticed that if you don’t do something that it is still a choice? And if you don’t make a chance, something happens that’s not your choice and you have to deal with it any way? Isn’t it better to make the choice on your own and feel like you have some semblance of control over the situation? When you don’t, you open yourself up to something happening that takes the control away from you so that you can put the pieces back together and move on with your life, the hard way. You also open yourself up to the problem repeating until you show up for it and “walk through the fire” by making the choices that are authentic to you.
I could write for days on this subject because being stuck is so hard and I want to give you permission and tools to break free! Let’s continue the discussion on this topic. What do you say?
Written by Chandra Lynn, Host of Glow Living