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Imagine what you want to attract into your life

IMAGINATION – DREAMS – INTUITION

In January, I posted 31 pictures about what inspires me and asked what inspires you. I believe your inspirations illuminate your path. If we go towards our inspirations, our positive energy increases and we can begin to attract more inspiration.

This month, we take the next step and start imagining the things we want as if they are already part of our lives. This brings them closer to us and helps us manifest them.

When I get busy, I don’t spend time encouraging my imagination. I’m more focused on checking off boxes on my To Do list. Taking time to imagine what it would look and feel like to have what I seek is what helps me decide on what I want and what goals to prioritize.

I set clear goals and prioritize them. After that, my To Do lists get more clear about what to focus on. In some cases, I have been able to remove things after reprioritizing and realizing they are not important to me anymore.

February is a time of the archetype of the Mystic. This means that it’s the perfect time of year to begin to imagine what you want, and bring your goals into focus.

I invite you to spend time thinking about how they would impact your life. If they are worthy of setting intentions and goals around. I encourage you to journal or talk to a friend about what would change in your life. Focus on how it would feel, what problems would be solved, and what you are willing to do to attain them.

Next month will be the month of the Warriors archetype and it will be time to put all of this inspiration and imagination into action to start manifesting them.

I invite you to do these 3 steps:

1) Imagine what you want for yourself this year.

2) Journal about it to make it as real as possible and talk to friends about it.

3) Pick 2-3 that you’d like to set as goals for next month.

Use your imagination & love life!

March 8, 2023
Defining Your Road Map To Success

Defining Your Road Map To Success
By Chandra Lynn as Published in I Am Entertainment Magazine

Imagine singing in front of an arena full of adoring, screaming fans, and feeling the high that comes from being center stage. Then, imagine going from the stage to your own luxury tour bus and hearing nothing but the hum of wheels on the road and feeling severely lonely and unsatisfied with life. This happened to a friend of mine who called me after a sold-out show.

Despite achieving “legendary rock star” status, he was still not satisfied with his life, even though others perceived it as the kind of success that dreams are made of. Why? For one thing, people define success differently. We may think he has it all, but those things didn’t fulfill his true inner desires and human needs. For many, success is achieving fame and fortune, but for some it’s simply getting through a single day without a drop of alcohol, while others may see success as contributing on a global level by headlining a benefit concert. The truth is that most people really don’t know what would make them deeply satisfied…even when they’ve achieved levels of success that they thought would be enough.

As children, we define what we do and don’t want for our lives based on our role models and experiences while growing up. Every situation gets filed under “Yes, I want that” or “No, I don’t want that”, which creates a subconscious road map for our lives. However, it is full of conflict because we can file multiple things that don’t work together in the same place. For example: my friend determined he wanted to be a touring musician and also wanted a wife and kids, placing him in a double-bind. While on the road, it was hard for him to find a suitable wife, but once he found a wife and had children he was challenged by the amount of touring that was required to be successful because it took him away from his family.

By the time we are adults, its common to feel frustrated by all of the challenges in life, which often leads us to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. If you feel this way now, it may seem like external circumstances are to blame, but consider the possibility that your conflicts are coming from your own “map”. This is good news because it means that although your current life conditions don’t sync with your map, you can change it. How? Change your life conditions or change your roadmap.

My friend was able to do this successfully by deciding that creating a family and being present with them was more important than touring so he began composing and recording new material in a home studio. If you feel stuck with your current life conditions, change your roadmap with these steps (ideally after doing some physical activity that puts you in an energized, positive state):

1. Think back to yourself as a child and recall any visions you had for your life. Write them out in as much detail as you can. What did you want to be when you grew up? Where did you want to live and in what kind of place? Did you want a romantic partnership and to become a parent?

2. Ask yourself, does your childhood vision match what you want from your adult view of life? If so, why? How does it serve your current needs?

3. If you determine the childhood vision does not serve you anymore, recognize that you need to replace it with a new adult vision based on how much you have grown.

4. To create a new vision, take some time to visualize how you can spend the rest of your life happy with what you have achieved. What do you need to be deeply fulfilled and utterly satisfied?

5. Connect this vision to a higher purpose. Why does this direction make you happy? Who does it serve? What does it tell you about who you are and what you’ve contributed? What do you want to be remembered for?

6. Consider any conflicts that may exist with your current life conditions, and determine which direction will give you a healthier and more successful end result.

7. Write out your new vision based on this new understanding, and be as specific as possible. After this, you will have a fairly clear vision, but you still need a clear roadmap.

When you live by a subconscious road map, it’s like driving from California to New York with only a vague sense of how to get there and why you even wanted to go there in the first place. An effective roadmap involves an integrated plan that is broken down into seven core areas of your life: spirituality, physical body, emotions & meaning, relationships, time, work & career, and finances.

To begin this process, expand your vision to include what you want to achieve in each of these areas; list out the actions you can take in each of the areas to realize your visions; set reasonable expectations for when to achieve them; and start taking action. You don’t have to live your life by default. There are a lot of things you can control to create the level of success that truly meets your needs. Aligning with your higher purpose (why you were created) and creating a healthy life vision and roadmap will send you down the path of living out your highest potential.

February 28, 2023
Getting Unstuck
Why We Get Stuck and How to Get Unstuck

I recently attended Gabby Bernstein’s book launch event at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. At the end, people lined up to ask her questions. It was fascinating to hear what they needed. Most wanted to share a life problem and ask for advice on how to get unstuck.

Listening to them made me think about where I feel stuck in my own life—and how I might help others move forward.

Common Reasons We Get Stuck

We get stuck for many reasons, but three stand out the most:
1. We can’t see the forest through the trees. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us see our situation more clearly.
2. It’s scary to change. Even if our current situation isn’t ideal, it may serve us in some way. In addition, we fear the unknown. What if change makes things worse?
3. We’re in a double bind. This means we feel “damned if we do, damned if we don’t,” which can make any decision feel impossible.
Techniques to Get Unstuck

Here are six strategies you can try to break free:

1. Face the Fear of Change

Play out the fear all the way to the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself—Is it really that bad? Can anything good come from it? If you find some positives, move toward them. Even a small step forward can boost your courage and create momentum.

2. Look at the Cost of Staying Stuck

Consider what happens if nothing changes. Who might get hurt? How bad could it get? Sometimes we can tolerate our own dissatisfaction, but what if staying stuck impacts someone you love? As a result, recognizing the ripple effect may give you the push to act.

3. Listen to Someone Who Loves You

Imagine what a person who truly wants the best for you would say. Often, we treat ourselves less kindly than we treat others. Therefore, hearing that supportive voice—whether real or imagined—can guide you toward a healthier choice.

4. Examine How Your Situation Meets Your Needs

Even difficult situations can meet emotional needs—just at low levels. Because of that, we often settle for “good enough” instead of going after what truly fulfills us. However, raising your standards almost always leads to growth, for yourself and others.

5. Commit to Growth

If you believe that “if you’re not growing, you’re dying (inside),” then challenge yourself to try something new. You may feel afraid, yet you can always adjust later. In addition, taking action builds confidence, regardless of the outcome.

6. Look for the Life Lesson

Ask yourself if this situation holds a lesson you’re ready to learn. If you delay making a choice, the Universe often makes it for you—and that can be much harder. Problems tend to repeat until we face them head-on. As a result, choosing your own path often gives you more control and peace of mind.

Final Thoughts on Getting Unstuck

Being stuck can feel heavy, frustrating, and lonely. However, you have more tools and choices than you may realize. By exploring these strategies, you can move toward a life that feels authentic and aligned.

About the Author:
Chandra Lynn is a certified transformation coach, speaker, and founder of Glow Living. She’s the author of Root-to-Rise: How to Love Life, a soulful personal growth guide to help people navigate emotional hurdles, life transitions, and personal reinvention. Through her coaching programs and writing, she empowers women to reconnect with their authentic selves and rise with purpose.

Learn more about Root-to-Rise and get your copy here.
February 21, 2023
When was your last “happy dance”?

When was the last time you did a “happy dance”?

If it’s been a while, you may be limiting your joy. There are a lot of reasons why we place limits on expressing our joy, and most of the time, we don’t even know we are doing it.

If you can relate to this and crave the feeling that comes from dancing like no one is watching, it may be worth looking at it more closely. Here are two big areas that may be holding you back…

1. Who are you spending the majority of your time with, and is there any reason why being happy around them feels uncomfortable? For example, if you are partnered with someone going through a hard time or illness, it may seem insensitive to express happiness about things in your life.

In this case, talk to them about it because it could be feeding into a cycle of them, in turn, not wanting to show happiness around you for the same reasons. See if there is a possibility that you can make a pact to consciously show more joy and happiness to raise each other’s vibrations.

2. Do you take time to stop and celebrate the successes in your life? We can place a lot of demands on ourselves and feel like our To Do lists are as long as Santa’s scroll. When overwhelmed, checking one box doesn’t seem like enough to stop and celebrate. However, many things on that list deserve to be acknowledged or celebrated when accomplished.

Consider whether some of the things on your list are worthy of a reward and determine it in advance. Make sure to give yourself the reward when you accomplish it, and tell your partner or a friend to help celebrate it with you or make sure you do.

You deserve to celebrate how awesome you are! Figure out what you deem worthy of placing special emphasis on and make it happen. Don’t wait around for someone to reward you. Reward yourself and be your own best friend!

February 14, 2023
Lacking Inspiration to Meet Your Goals?

INSPIRATION – INCREASED ENERGY – VISION

Honestly, 2020 exhausted me and I took a welcomed break to celebrate the holidays. However, I started to dread New Years because I wanted to feel refreshed, optimistic, and motivated to reach for new roles and rise up, and just didn’t feel inspired.

Like gratitude, inspiration can requires time and energy to focus on it. To illuminate my path for the New Year, I created 31 images with what inspires me and am sharing one each day on my social media. This is reconnecting me with my inspirations and also helping to inspire others.

If you’re feeling low energy, I invite you to follow my social and engage around what inspires you. This will help you to become clear on what you want to attract in 2021. Together, we can amass a list of inspirations that helps us individually and raises the vibes of our collective community.

I also invite you to consider that Winter is a fallow period. This means that we can plant seeds of intention now. You will need to have patience to wait for them to germinate and sprout in the Spring.

January is a time of the archetype of the Visionary. If you’re feeling foggy about what you want to create this year, its okay and the perfect time to allow for new visions to come in for increased clarity.

Note that I said “allow” and not “force” which leads to confusion, frustration and more fogginess. Allowing means asking yourself questions and listening/seeing what comes up from the standpoint of an observer. Don’t judge them yet, just allow them to flow. Journal them out.

Once you’ve documented all of your visions, then you can weigh out the pros and cons, and create an action plan.

I invite you to do these 3 steps:

1) Identify your inspirations.

2) Allow for new visions and journal about them by asking yourself what you want, why you want it, and what you are willing to do about it.

3)Determine which visions you want to hold on to and which you want to let go of.

Be inspirational & love life!

January 19, 2023
The #1 Google Search for New Years Is…
Guess what New Year’s resolution was the most searched on Google (per data company Quanti)? “Get Healthy” with over 62 million searches.

Whether it’s New Years or not, its always a good time to decide to “get healthy”. But what does that really mean? Most people think of it as losing weight. I invite you to consider that its much more.

Here is a video that I recorded on how I define a healthy lifestyle in an integrated way that positively effects your body, mind and spirit through every day choices. If you want more, watch and then read on.

To me, getting healthy is really about choosing to make health — mind, body and spirit — a priority in your lifestyle. I run two companies, have a young child, and am challenged with many of the same demands that people put in front of achieving their healthy lifestyle goals. The only difference between me and someone who isn’t healthy and wants to “get healthy” as a resolution is that I started my journey a long time ago with a simple decision to “just do it”…not with a diet or exercise program, but as the center to my entire lifestyle.

I believe that I can not accomplish all that I do (and want to do) without the energy that can only be cultivated through daily behaviors that support my health. Its at the core of every decision I make…what I put in my mouth, how I exercise that day, what I buy for my home, what products I use on my body, what books I read, what people I hang around, what career goals I make, etc. If its not healthy for me in that moment or for my future self, the answer is likely NO (with the exception of some bubbles with friends to celebrate special life events).

I want to live a long, happy fulfilled life, and age gracefully. I don’t want to be live with pain. And pain is exactly what I’ve seen in people that have not taken care of themselves. Pain comes in the form of cancer and other diseases or medical issues. It also comes in the form of mental and emotional anguish and suffering. One of my friends who is a hospice nurse told me that not living a healthy life is one of the leading regrets that people have in their final days.

When I think back to times when I was a bit overweight or feeling sick, it scares me to think of going through that again. There have been times when I’ve beat myself up over being overweight and its damaged my self-esteem. It’s attracted the wrong people and held me back from reaching my full potential. Now, I focus on health and cultivating energy. My body is in balance so I can tackle difficult challenges and I’m less likely to feel depressed or suffer from body image problems.

No one wants to suffer, and having suffered in the past, I know it can be a big motivator for making changes. If you have the goal of getting healthy, I invite you to consider what life-long choices you can make for a healthier lifestyle…not just to look better, but to create balance; cultivate energy for tackling your bucket list; contribute beyond yourself; and focus on other New Year’s Resolution search terms such as:
- “Get Organized” – over 33 million searches
- “Live Life to the Fullest” – nearly 19 million searches
- “Learn New Hobbies” – over 17 million searches
- “Spend Less/Save More” – nearly 16 million searches
- “Travel” – nearly 6 million searches
- “Read More” – over 4 million searches
These resolutions sound so much better to me than going on some stupid diet! So, if you’re with me but not sure what to do, I can offer you some ideas based on what works for me. There are also a ton of coaches, trainers and pros in this field that you can hire to develop a starting point (I have a few I can recommend). I think there is probably more information on the internet and in the library on this topic than just about anything else. So the info is out there. The next step is trying something and then course correcting. I’ve tried all kinds of things and am constantly dialing in what works for me. Make a commitment to try new things and see what works, even if some things fail. Failure is just an opportunity to learn, so its okay to fail as long as you course correct and focus on perseverance and grit. You’re choosing this for the rest of your life, not just a 12-week “transformation challenge” so be patient and compassionate with yourself.

In a nutshell, I’m currently following the IIFYM macros calculator by tracking my food on MyFitnessPal, not eating flour or sugar (including alcohol), and working out 5x/week by combining weights, yoga and HIIT training. That can sound severe to some people but I’ve worked up to doing this after years of training. Start with something you can succeed with.

To learn more about the tools that work for me, check out these articles:

Health & Fitness Tools – Part 1: Bodybuilding.com & BodySpace
Health & Fitness Tools – Part 2: Calories & Macros

Another piece of advice is to NEVER apologize for self-care and prioritizing health over other things. I’ve had friends who have been given a hard time by their partners for “working out too much” or “always being on a diet”. This is unacceptable to me in a partnership because taking care of yourself is like putting your life mask on before putting i on someone else. You have to be in good health to have the energy to help others. Its that simple. If your partner wants more of your time and energy, that’s important to look at and prioritize them by giving them more quality time, but don’t cut off your lifeline to the very thing that makes you attractive…your vitality! You deserve to prioritize yourself first, and that means managing stress and other physical and emotional challenges in a productive and healthy way.

Can you see I’m passionate about this subject? I am and that’s why more and more of the content I develop is going to be around defining and living a healthy lifestyle. If you have questions, ideas or topics you’d like me to explore, please let me know. What works works for you? Please share any tips.

I want the best for you and to see you grow old in a healthy, happy way with me, and for the ones you love!!
January 14, 2023
Grow and Deepen Your Inner Circle of Friends

Grow and Deepen Your Inner Circle of Friends
By Chandra Lynn

Having worked in music marketing my entire career, my friendships have been with people who largely live outside of my area. Because other aspects of my life were so busy, I didn’t have much time to nourish my local relationships, and honestly, I didn’t know whether I could meet people nearby that I resonated with. After I had a baby 10 years ago, and decided to work from home, I started to feel the need for local friends. I could see the appeal of having somewhere to go, like on the TV show Cheers (but not at a bar), to connect with people. But I needed a like-minded tribe.

Once I started feeling the need for close personal relationships with local friends, I opened up to the possibility of meeting people through yoga and the gym, and also reconnecting with friends that I met in past jobs, school, and in my younger years. The amazing thing was how many quality souls were also open to connecting and forming new friendships.

After years of going to the gym and not meeting anyone, I met a small group of women in my yoga class that changed my life dramatically. We not only did yoga, we found ways to connect and get to know each other. We connected about health and fitness, intimate relationships, and helped each other find our passions in our careers and in the artistic world. We supported each other through divorces, career changes, child-rearing issues and much more. We also learned how to have fun together with trips to hot springs, yoga workshops, frivolous photo shoots, and girl’s nights out. Some of us gather to create women’s circles where we explore topics such as spirituality, personal growth, rituals and other things that support our lives in reaching our goals and potential.

Now, instead of going to bars to party, we look forward to our circles and our fun times together, and we don’t need alcohol to have fun. Don’t get me wrong, we’re known to throw back bottles of champagne, but we don’t need it to feel high on anything but the connection that we have in the deep love and support that we bring to each other’s lives.

I call this close circle of friends my Shakti Sisters. They know who they are and how much they mean to me because we don’t live in the land of the unspoken. We tell each other what we mean to our lives and actively plan time to spend together because we desire the connection and how much we can learn from each other’s differences and core competencies.

If you would like to cultivate a close circle of friends like this, I recommend the following:

Open yourself up to the possibility that the woman standing next to you in yoga class, at the supermarket, or picking kids up from school could be your new bestie. Obviously not everyone is going to connect at that high of a frequency. However, it starts with you being open to the possibility and attracting new friends.

Ask them a question about themselves to show your interest. How they answer will tell you a lot about them. Through a dialogue with them, you can sense their energy and whether they are somebody that you would like to learn more about.

If this new acquaintance seems interesting, invite them to coffee or happy hour to discuss something you have in common, like yoga, your kids, your careers, or other hobbies.

Follow up quickly to set a time and have a relaxed approach to the experience. They may or may not be somebody that you’ll want to keep in touch with after the initial meeting. But if they are, you can connect through social media and invite them to events or other things that you think they may be interested in.

Friendships take time to build and some people are more open than others. And if they can’t make a meeting, it may be that they are super busy even though they do want to get to know you. So try again. But if they seem like they’re too busy for you after a couple offers then they are not in the same place with welcoming new friends and allocating time for them as a priority.

One of the most amazing experiences with this has been the women that I’ve met through other women. Many times when you really connect with someone, they have friends that are also like-minded and may even connect with you on a deeper level than the person that you met through. So check out their friend groups by participating in things that they invite you to as well.

I always suggest new friends discuss some things that are normally a bit unspoken, like how often they are available to stay connected. Sometimes they want to text all the time and sometimes they only can meet with you a couple times a week and use texting just to confirm logistics. Everyone has personal preferences for how they’d like to communicate and how much time they have to spend. It’s important to honor that and also be clear in your communication about your own preferences. This safeguards the relationship from communication problems down the road because each person knows what to expect and the best ways to communicate with each other.

Romantic relationships and jobs come and go, but true friends will stand by you as witnesses and supporters for your entire life. If you do the work of communicating properly, nurturing a relationship, staying connected, and keeping the give and take balance in check, your friendships can offer the most fun, supportive and enlightening experiences of your life.

January 13, 2023
Life Lessons
The universe is ever expanding, and on this New Years morning I took stock in all of the ways that I expanded in 2018. It was way more than I realized, and here are a few of my lessons learned so that you can hopefully grow from them too:

1. I went on a trip to Iceland with three besties. It was a destination that they wanted to check off their bucket list, and in all honesty, I hadn’t given it much thought before they brought it up. It ended up being one of the best trips of my life, and it added adventure, beauty, connection to nature and friends, and amazing memories to my life. This experience taught me to OPEN MYSELF UP to other people’s ideas and ALLOW for new experiences that push beyond my boundaries.

2. I had the goal of finishing my Root-to-Rise course in 2018 and I’d say its about 95% done. It was a WAY bigger effort than I ever thought. When people asked about its readiness, I’d feel a bit embarrassed that it was taking so long to complete. Then I realized that, for the second time in my life, I was in a birthing process that couldn’t be rushed. The first time what when I had my son Kai. There was no way around the 9 months it took for him to be born. Root-to-Rise started as one course that grew to a two-part course for training individuals, and now has an additional version for corporate wellness. It was like thinking you had one baby and finding out its twins! I learned a lot from this process:
- Its difficult for force patience, so instead I focus on Abayasa…persistent effort. Making some progress every day helped me feel like I was in the flow, and allowed me to get excited about what I was creating instead of frustrated by how long it was taking.
- I have to do things I’m not good at or comfortable with in order to achieve my goals. For example, to finish the courses, I had to spend a whole day shooting direct-to-camera teaching videos. I had to get over how I came across on camera and being perfect at my delivery. I just focused on my intention to help people love life, and that the videos would be part of the legacy I’d leave behind.
- I have wisdom that is worthy of sharing. Some creators face imposter syndrome, and there were times when I felt insecure about the value of what I was offering. Its now been validated by students and I feel sure of myself and what I’ve created.
Watch the new 5-minute Root-to-Rise video!

3. With my increased focus and dedication to Glow Living, my client work for Glow Marketing started to dry up which left me at a deficit every month. I experienced more financial insecurity than I’ve felt in a long time, and its been scary. What I learned is that there is an abundance out there, even when we see scarcity on the news and all around us. Its up to us to be resourceful, apply ourselves, and stay true to what we really want in life even when it means investing through lean times.

These are just a few of my many life lessons this year. I’d love to hear yours so that we can learn from each other to grow and expand.

Get ready for a lot of messages about Root-to-Rise this year. My hope is that each of you take the course, either in person or online, so that we can all RISE together in 2019 and beyond.

Love Life. Love you!

Chandra

#roottorise #lovelife
January 1, 2023
Six Figure Coach Publishes Feature Article from Chandra Lynn of GlowLiving.com

I got published! I’m excited to share this article I wrote for The Six Figure Coach Magazine called Defining Your Path to Success about consciously creating your roadmap to success and fulfillment. Here is the SlideShare of the whole article. If you want to read the full magazine, get a free subscription at https://thesixfigurecoach.com/

The Six Figure Coach Magazine Features Article by Chandra Lynn of GlowLiving.com from Glow Marketing

August 7, 2022
The 51% Rule

The 51% Rule – Boundaries are Your Friend

By Chandra Lynn

A friend reminded me today of my 51% rule. Have you ever felt like you are doing more to help your partner then they are to help themselves? Sometimes it just seems easier to take control and get things done on your own than ask your partner to do their part. And they may be completely happy with having you take care of business. But after all while, you may find that you lead in all ways in the relationship, and start feeling overwhelmed and tired of being the one to handle everything.

To prevent this from happening, I recommend each partner agree to carry A MINIMUM OF 51% of the work load on their end. When someone is doing AT LEAST 51% of the work for their own life, things will stay more balanced. Helping somebody with 49% of their work is still a lot when it comes to managing someone else’s stuff. I could even argue that is too high of a percentage. However, if someone needs you to help them with an area of their life, and you are feeling happy to do it, consider making sure they understand that you will only take on a maximum of 49% of the tasks that need to be accomplished.

I learned this the hard way. I saw a former partner struggling with his career, so I jumped into immediate action. Being a fledgling marketing consultant, I was actually excited to put my skills to work for him. Without him asking me, I built him all the marketing materials that he needed to present himself in a more professional way. At the end of it, he was grateful but didn’t really leverage it to the extent that I had hoped. I could see that the struggles in his career had more to do with his ambition then it had to do with his ability to present him self in a professional way. As a result, even with the new materials, he did not apply himself, and I felt like all the work I did to support him was for nothing. I distinctly remember going to a diner and telling him that I needed to see him doing at least 51% of the work to reach his goals for his life. And, I would be happy to do whatever I could to support him, but I needed to see him applying himself more than I was putting in to help him.

Jumping in to help a partner is a noble thing, but I can also enable bad behavior in your partner. There is nothing wrong with being supportive, but you have to be careful with behaviors that lead them to where you think is best for them before they have even asked for help.

The friend who reminded me of this was looking back at her life and realizing that she has always done the majority of the work in the relationship, and her partner was happy to have her do it. However, he started taking advantage of the fact that she provided so much with little appreciation or awareness of the effort involved.

If you feel overwhelmed with all that you have to do for yourself, your partner, your kids and other people in your life, ask yourself whether you feel your partner is stepping up to their full potential and supporting you in the way that you need them to. If they’re not and you’re enabling them to kick back, please consider that your standards are not high enough for yourself in terms of expecting a partner to do their share. Ask specifically for what you need from them, and make sure you get their agreement before creating new expectations that they will deliver.

Everyone needs to feel useful, needed, purposeful and that they bring value to a relationship. This post is to remind you that you can do this by supporting your partner and those around you, as long as you set healthy boundaries and set reasonable expectations with your partner to do a minimum of 51% of the work in their own life.

July 28, 2022
Updating Your Intimacy Ladder

Where Are Your Friends on Your Intimacy Ladder?
By Chandra Lynn

Have you ever had a bestie that you talked to you almost every day and now you’re not as close to as you used to be? That disconnection can cause you pain and make you question the relationship and what you mean to them now (and vice versa). There are lots of reasons why our relationships with our friends change over time. Sometimes we come together when we’re single and have lots of time to invest in each other, and then one gets into a relationship that soaks up their available time. Sometimes it’s hard to invest while juggling a job, kids, romantic relationship and more, leaving less time for friends.

This is all understandable, but the problem lies in not communicating the change of expectations in the relationship. We can take friends for granted, thinking that they’ll just be there when we have time. But actually, it can be hurtful to friends when we’re there one minute and disappear the next. Some friends are casual about it and it feels like no time has passed after not seeing each other for a long period of time. Other friends get really hurt by our lack of availability and can feel abandoned. You may have felt this way too and can relate.

This happens a lot when two single people spend a lot of time together and one gets into a relationship and is no longer available. The single friend is still as available as (s)he always was though and needs to be reassured that your need for change doesn’t diminish what they mean to you.

It’s totally natural for a relationship to go through changes, but it really helps when you lead a discussion about the change and seek to create a renewed agreement about the basis of the friendship and what each of you can offer, including time commitments. How possible is it to check in every day, week, month or year?

There are a couple of things that you can do to prevent degradation in the relationship. The first thing is to communicate verbally or in writing what that person truly means to you and what they’ve given to your life. That provides them reassurance that they are valuable to you and you don’t want them to disappear from your life and you don’t plan to event abandon them in any way, shape, or form.

The second thing that you can do is consider changing their status on your relationship ladder. For years, you could have thought of them as your number one friend and placed them on the very top of your relationship ladder. Then, all of a sudden, they are no longer available to you the way they were due to life circumstances, and you feel hurt. What can you do? You can consider changing their status on your ladder. Moving a friend down a couple of rungs on the ladder does not mean that you don’t care about them anymore. It means that you change the expectations for that friendship and adjust them to meet the current status based on what’s going on in life. When you feel hurt, it’s easy to think of just throwing a friend off the ladder entirely, but it’s really not necessary in most cases. Unless a friend has intentionally hurt you or intended you harm, all you really need to do is lower them a couple of rungs on the ladder while both of you are doing your own thing, and check-in with them from time to time to see if they want to update the blueprint for the relationship.

Sometimes, you have to jockey more than one friend’s position on your ladder. There are occasions in life where you reach a point that older friendships are outdated and just not serving you to lift your highest potential. There is nothing wrong with this, and it should actually be embraced as a healthy part of evaluating the value of your relationships, and how much you’ve grown and evolved.

One of my very best friends from high school has moved around on my ladder to the point where she’s probably touched every rung. There were times that we were inseparable and there were years that we never talked at all. I’m happy to say that we see each other on a regular basis now. What kept us connected all these years is consistent communication of a mutual desire to stay connected even when time goes by and we can’t see each other.

I have another bestie that I’ve known since the sixth grade and she lives in another state. We’ve spent more time apart then together. We managed to stay connected and now consider ourselves to become full-fledge sisters. We flew across the country to see each other during crisis times and for major celebrations like graduation. We sent cards when snail mail became practically obsolete. We are even connected on a psychic level now.

If a relationship with a friend isn’t working, consider changing their status on your relationship ladder instead of throwing them off entirely. You connected with them for some reason initially, and you may find them valuable in your friend circle once your expectations are adjusted. With that said, there are times when a relationship is not healthy and should be let go. Consider the most graceful exit you can under those circumstances and always take the high road.

My friends have meant everything to me and I fostered those relationships over many many years. Although I don’t actively seek friends, I am open to new connections that resonate on a higher vibration and they are being attracted. I love my friends and will do everything to protect and preserve these precious connections, starting with communicating what I want out of the relationship and seeking agreements about what to expect from one another which informs where we are on each other’s ladder. I also invite them to let me know if my expectations need to change, and I make sure they know what’s in my heart.

Who is on your ladder and is the current status working for you, or does it need a little adjusting?

July 20, 2022
Leading During Difficult Times

Leading During Difficult Times
By Chandra Lynn

Are world events weighing heavy on you? From senseless killings and celebrity deaths to political shenanigans around the globe, its hard to feel light-hearted these days. Even though things are going well in my own life, I feel negative emotions in response to the news.

Marianne Williamson reminded me that we are not the first generation to have to deal with what feels like unsurmountable challenges. But we do have access to information like never before which can lead to the feeling of overwhelm and hopelessness.

So how did generations past overcome things like slavery, oppression of women, religious persecution, genocide and terrorist attacks? My theory is that it was through leadership. Lots of people found peaceful ways to stand up for what they believed in and inspire others to do the same. The list is long…Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, Malcolm X, Susan B. Anthony, Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and many, many more. Being someone of this significance is not necessary to make an impact. I invite you to find ways that you can lead and inspire within your sphere of influence. Our world needs leaders and no effort is too small because collectively it all makes a difference.

I recently watched two impactful videos led by Marie Forleo on this topic, and I invite you to check them out.

The first was an on how to reconcile feeling deeply sad, empty or depressed — especially when everything in your life is “technically” going fine. She describes how these feelings may be linked to negative world events, and what to do about it.

The second is an interview with Simon Sinek about how to be a great leader and inspire others to do remarkable things. He shares his personal story in the first half and then gives some great insights into leadership in the second half.

There are some Glow Circles members that have demonstrated amazing leadership and I am working on interviews with them to share with you soon. Stay tuned!

June 29, 2022