Glow Living

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  • Updating Your Intimacy Ladder

    Updating Your Intimacy Ladder

    Where Are Your Friends on Your Intimacy Ladder?
    By Chandra Lynn

    Have you ever had a bestie that you talked to you almost every day and now you’re not as close to as you used to be? That disconnection can cause you pain and make you question the relationship and what you mean to them now (and vice versa). There are lots of reasons why our relationships with our friends change over time. Sometimes we come together when we’re single and have lots of time to invest in each other, and then one gets into a relationship that soaks up their available time. Sometimes it’s hard to invest while juggling a job, kids, romantic relationship and more, leaving less time for friends.

    This is all understandable, but the problem lies in not communicating the change of expectations in the relationship. We can take friends for granted, thinking that they’ll just be there when we have time. But actually, it can be hurtful to friends when we’re there one minute and disappear the next. Some friends are casual about it and it feels like no time has passed after not seeing each other for a long period of time. Other friends get really hurt by our lack of availability and can feel abandoned. You may have felt this way too and can relate.

    This happens a lot when two single people spend a lot of time together and one gets into a relationship and is no longer available. The single friend is still as available as (s)he always was though and needs to be reassured that your need for change doesn’t diminish what they mean to you.

    It’s totally natural for a relationship to go through changes, but it really helps when you lead a discussion about the change and seek to create a renewed agreement about the basis of the friendship and what each of you can offer, including time commitments. How possible is it to check in every day, week, month or year?

    There are a couple of things that you can do to prevent degradation in the relationship. The first thing is to communicate verbally or in writing what that person truly means to you and what they’ve given to your life. That provides them reassurance that they are valuable to you and you don’t want them to disappear from your life and you don’t plan to event abandon them in any way, shape, or form.

    The second thing that you can do is consider changing their status on your relationship ladder. For years, you could have thought of them as your number one friend and placed them on the very top of your relationship ladder. Then, all of a sudden, they are no longer available to you the way they were due to life circumstances, and you feel hurt. What can you do? You can consider changing their status on your ladder. Moving a friend down a couple of rungs on the ladder does not mean that you don’t care about them anymore. It means that you change the expectations for that friendship and adjust them to meet the current status based on what’s going on in life. When you feel hurt, it’s easy to think of just throwing a friend off the ladder entirely, but it’s really not necessary in most cases. Unless a friend has intentionally hurt you or intended you harm, all you really need to do is lower them a couple of rungs on the ladder while both of you are doing your own thing, and check-in with them from time to time to see if they want to update the blueprint for the relationship.

    Sometimes, you have to jockey more than one friend’s position on your ladder. There are occasions in life where you reach a point that older friendships are outdated and just not serving you to lift your highest potential. There is nothing wrong with this, and it should actually be embraced as a healthy part of evaluating the value of your relationships, and how much you’ve grown and evolved.

    One of my very best friends from high school has moved around on my ladder to the point where she’s probably touched every rung. There were times that we were inseparable and there were years that we never talked at all. I’m happy to say that we see each other on a regular basis now. What kept us connected all these years is consistent communication of a mutual desire to stay connected even when time goes by and we can’t see each other.

    I have another bestie that I’ve known since the sixth grade and she lives in another state. We’ve spent more time apart then together. We managed to stay connected and now consider ourselves to become full-fledge sisters. We flew across the country to see each other during crisis times and for major celebrations like graduation. We sent cards when snail mail became practically obsolete. We are even connected on a psychic level now.

    If a relationship with a friend isn’t working, consider changing their status on your relationship ladder instead of throwing them off entirely. You connected with them for some reason initially, and you may find them valuable in your friend circle once your expectations are adjusted. With that said, there are times when a relationship is not healthy and should be let go. Consider the most graceful exit you can under those circumstances and always take the high road.

    My friends have meant everything to me and I fostered those relationships over many many years. Although I don’t actively seek friends, I am open to new connections that resonate on a higher vibration and they are being attracted. I love my friends and will do everything to protect and preserve these precious connections, starting with communicating what I want out of the relationship and seeking agreements about what to expect from one another which informs where we are on each other’s ladder. I also invite them to let me know if my expectations need to change, and I make sure they know what’s in my heart.

    Who is on your ladder and is the current status working for you, or does it need a little adjusting?

  • Leading During Difficult Times

    Leading During Difficult Times

    Leading During Difficult Times 
    By Chandra Lynn 

    Are world events weighing heavy on you? From senseless killings and celebrity deaths to political shenanigans around the globe, its hard to feel light-hearted these days. Even though things are going well in my own life, I feel negative emotions in response to the news. 

    leadershipMarianne Williamson reminded me that we are not the first generation to have to deal with what feels like unsurmountable challenges. But we do have access to information like never before which can lead to the feeling of overwhelm and hopelessness.

    So how did generations past overcome things like slavery, oppression of women, religious persecution, genocide and terrorist attacks? My theory is that it was through leadership. Lots of people found peaceful ways to stand up for what they believed in and inspire others to do the same. The list is long…Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, Malcolm X, Susan B. Anthony, Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and many, many more. Being someone of this significance is not necessary to make an impact. I invite you to find ways that you can lead and inspire within your sphere of influence. Our world needs leaders and no effort is too small because collectively it all makes a difference. 

    I recently watched two impactful videos led by Marie Forleo on this topic, and I invite you to check them out.

    The first was an on how to reconcile feeling deeply sad, empty or depressed — especially when everything in your life is “technically” going fine. She describes how these feelings may be linked to negative world events, and what to do about it.

    The second is an interview with Simon Sinek about how to be a great leader and inspire others to do remarkable things. He shares his personal story in the first half and then gives some great insights into leadership in the second half. 

    There are some Glow Circles members that have demonstrated amazing leadership and I am working on interviews with them to share with you soon. Stay tuned!

  • Lessons Learned Interview with Omar & Rachel Hakim is Now Live!

    Lessons Learned Interview with Omar & Rachel Hakim is Now Live!

    Legendary Drummer Omar Hakim & Keyboardist Rachel Z

    Every musician experiences ups and downs on the road of life, but you can avoid big pitfalls by taking other people’s advice to heart. In this session, Chandra Lynn takes her “Lessons Learned” video interview series to the NAMM Idea Center’s live stage for hard-won wisdom from legendary drummer Omar Hakim (Sting, David Bowie, Journey and Madonna) and keyboardist Rachel Z (Peter Gabriel, Vertu with Stanley Clarke and Lenny White, and Pino Daniele). This interview explores their experience with auditioning for gigs, leveraging endorsements, honing technical chops, and staying healthy and balanced on the road.

  • Glow Circles Member Josh Hart Stopped Heroin and Started yogaffordable.com

    Glow Circles Member Josh Hart Stopped Heroin and Started yogaffordable.com

    Glow Circles Member Josh Hart Stopped Heroin and Started yogaffordable.com

    Read Josh’s Journey and Check Out This Beautiful Resource for Recovering Souls Who Need a Bit of Light

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    Josh’s Journey

    As an adopted child growing up I always felt out of place, never fully in my skin. I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy when I was born and for the first 5 years of my life I spent it in physical therapy. I became stronger and more flexible and unlike the doctors told my mother I did not end up in a wheelchair.

    I became interested in music and dance and joined various theater programs which provided an outlet for self expression. I was molested when I was 14 by a backstage worker in one of my shows. It lasted for about 8 months until I finally found a way to speak up.

    Over the next 10 years I struggled with heroin addiction to numb myself from the outside world. Slowly friends disappeared, Jobs let me go, and my bank account was reduced to zero. I sold my body for drugs and a place to sleep. For months I lived out of a backpack on the streets.

    Then one night I met someone. Someone who didn’t want to use me like all the other men I tried to find safety in. This one didn’t want to hurt but wanted to help me. The love felt unconditional and soon I was left with a choice. I found myself having to choose between my old life style and new way, an honest way of life. This beautiful soul supported me through extreme withdrawal from the drugs cold turkey. But ultimately it was my willpower to change that got my through those very dark months.

    It took about a solid year of 12 step meetings, weekly therapy, and exercise until I began to feel like myself again. I was able to address my pain and trauma that I had buried for so long. After working my 12th step I craved a better understanding of who I was. I wanted to go deeper, get connected to soul self that I had run away from. That’s when I found yoga.

    I remember going to my first yoga class. Stepping on to my matt and creating an energy field of safety, protection, determination and most of all forgiveness. Yoga taught me how to surrender into the pain. To not be afraid of all the parts of my dark and light. That each part of me served a purpose. I learned how to fully accept myself as I am.

    The philosophy of yoga teaches its practitioner to live by a set of principles, similar to the principles of the 12 steps. I began to adapt with these covenants of honestly, transparency, vulnerably, and the importance of service to others. The practice of this beautiful philosophy taught me that I can not keep what I have without giving it away.

    My trauma had a purpose, my pain could be turned into love and support for another in need. Like my beautiful partner who should be unconditional love, who was able to see through my addicted self, the light that was always inside burning, yearning to be let free. I have been on this recovery journey for 5 years now, evolving every day into my true spiritual self.

    It has not been a easy road, and I have fallen here and there. But the yoga always leads me back to center. The practice only teaches me acceptance and non judgment towards all parts good and bad. Yoga teaches self exploration, self awareness, and most of all that you have a choice. I learned through practice that I am not my mind or the thoughts, that I am the observer of the thoughts. That I can not control the feed that goes on but I can control my reaction to the thoughts.

    Yoga taught me about the importance of intention, and the willingness to stay grounded in the chaos of life. That nothing stays the same forever only the deepest parts of you remain consistent. I believe in law of attraction, the power of energy, our thoughts and words creating our future one moment at time. I know that I am meant to share this practice to others.

    Support Josh’s Go Fund Me Campaign

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    Follow Josh on Instagram:

    We are all one #omshanti #omshantiom #yogaffordable #yogaismylife #yoga #yogaeverydamnday #headwig #lululemon

    A photo posted by Josh Hart (@yogaffordable_) on

     

  • My Big Takeaways from Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy

    My Big Takeaways from Brendon Burchard’s Experts Academy

    By Chandra Lynn

    Eight hundred entrepreneurs packed a ballroom for four extremely long days, and I not only was one of them, but I was one of the ones that played full out! The timing was perfect because I launched glowliving.com on the first day of the Academy and was ready to learn everything I could on how to best serve my new community.

    IMG_4810As I sat in the uncomfortable, tightly-packed seats, I buzzed with excitement for all that I was learning but also from seeing the new member signups to Glow Circles rolling in! I was doing exactly what Brendon was encouraging.

    In my heart, I launched the site knowing I was on the right track but I still had fear about whether I was able to attract an audience, deliver a depth of content that served to the highest of my abilities, and find a way to monetize so I can continue doing this as my purpose-filled life’s work.

    Driving home from the conference, however, I became overwhelmed with emotions of hope and complete confidence for what’s coming next. Listen here:

    My 5 Takeaways:

    1. I have the authenticity, heart, and deep knowledge necessary to attract the right people to my work, and ultimately help people transform their lives.
    2. I need dedicated focus on creating valuable products that deliver an effective framework that people can use to put my knowledge to work for real results. It’s going to be hard as Hell but I can do it!
    3. Though there is a learning curve with the technology necessary to create a platform to support my huge vision, there is no better time because the solutions are available and affordable like never before.
    4. In the next 18 months, there is going to be a HUGE wave of new people getting on to the internet through home computers and mobile devices, and it will continue to grow exponentially over the next five years which means now is the right time to get established and attain a significant audience!
    5. I have to practice speaking and getting comfortable in front of the camera, and push through the discomfort, to give you the opportunity to really know me and have access to my knowledge base. As a result, this will be the year of video production so get ready to get sick of seeing my talking head!

    Needless to say, I’m here! I’m doing this! And you’re here too…thank you and stay tuned!

  • The 5 Disciplines of Love

    The 5 Disciplines of Love

    How To Create Your Ultimate Relationship

    From TonyRobbins.com

    Valentine’s Day might be over, but cultivating passion in your relationship should be an ongoing adventure. A sexy, exciting partnership takes focus and dedication to create — and it will light up every part of your life.

    Whether you’re single or committed, these 5 Disciplines of Love will help you create a relationship full of earth-shaking excitement, joy and passion.

    1. The Discipline of Unconditional Love & Compassion
    Always put your lover first—it’s not about you! When you fully develop the skill of heartfelt understanding, you become conscious of your partner’s inner life. Rather than being an observer and critic, you feel what they feel and you will discover the deepest pleasure in your relationship—sexual and otherwise.

    2. The Discipline of Absolute Courage & Vulnerability
    Love no matter what and commit to absolute truth. Be present for your lover even during the most painful situations. Don’t just be physically present, be fully present– giving your lover your undivided focus. Any time you lose trust, interest or commitment, you drift closer to behaviors of criticism and rejection. Stay connected! Cultivate your commitment the way you would a precious flower. Your relationship will flourish no matter what your life circumstances may be.

    3. The Discipline of Knowing the Truth
    Here’s the truth: It’s a no-blame game. There’s an art to expressing mild upset without creating bigger problems. When you let something bother you, your partner will feel blamed. However, when something goes wrong, you must express yourself spontaneously, and from the heart. It’s crucial you set the context carefully for anything you share. Remember to use phrases that avoid blame.

    4. The Discipline of Telling Yourself the Truth
    Commit to moment-to-moment awareness of the impact of your state. If the basis of trust is confidence in your partner, then you must begin with confidence in yourself. Without it, you cannot induce lasting trust in others. When you can be yourself, others will perceive that and build trust in you. Hold true to the generosity of your highest intentions.

    5. The Discipline of Giving Freedom
    The power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding. Why drag along the baggage of past mistakes? Whenever we have painful experiences, we can learn from them or use them to punish ourselves or others. People often blame their partners for past misdeeds. If you want passion, set your partner free. See their mistake from their perspective. Consciously harness the good in life to bring greater pleasure and intimacy.

  • Inspiration

    My copy fr newsletter

  • How do you define “family”?

    How do you define “family”?

    Most people think of their family as related by blood or marriage. I don’t. I define my family as the people who really know me and are consistently there for me. Some of them share my blood and some of them don’t.

    Either way, we share a bond of love, acceptance and commitment to supporting each other through life. They know who they are because we openly express and affirm our relationship.

    I invite you to think about who has been there for you through up and down periods of your life. Consider whether they are like family to you, and whether they know how much they mean to you. If so, use this time to remind them. If not, tell them.

    Recently, I’ve suffered some losses that were unexpected and I never got to tell them how I felt. They are gone forever. I no longer think I have all the time in the world to let people know how I feel. The truth is that this could be the last holiday. We just don’t know.

    So, in case you don’t know, I am grateful for you. You are part of my tribe, my Glow family, and I appreciate you for showing up and shining your light in my life.

    Have a wonderful holiday, and enjoy the people that make up the family in your heart, by blood or by bond.

  • Chandra Lynn Appears on The Dave Pamah Show Podcast

    Chandra Lynn Appears on The Dave Pamah Show Podcast

    Dave Pamah was a delightful host and I had so much fun on this podcast with him. If you’ve got a free 40 minutes, I’d love for you to check it out. We share tips and stories that I hope you enjoy!

    Dave Pamah Show Podcast with Chandra Lynn
    CLICK TO LISTEN NOW

    About Dave Pamah

    Dave Pamah is an author, podcaster, and personal coach who helps people overcome resiliency. As an ex-athlete and retired firefighter, he faced many challenges with racism, bullying, and dyslexia. His experience has led him to a career in helping others through personal coaching and with his book: Firefighting From Within. Dave hosts the podcast ‘The Dave Pamah Show’ where he highlights ways people can make improvements in their lives and other mental health topics. He says that people need to build resiliency by using mindfulness to gain some calmness in your life. Having more positivity can help you live your best life.

    The Dave Pamah Show

    Are you caught up in life’s troubles and don’t want to take any more of it? Do you desire an accomplished life? Do you want to develop the right mindset that drives your passion? Are you concerned about life’s deepest challenges? Or does the world look too bleak from your perspective?

    The Dave Pamah show seeks to revive, restore, awaken, and reform your innermost capabilities. Dave connects you to a whole new view of the world, through the pockets of experiences from great minds who have thrived and toiled and have been able to see the world’s true beauty.

    Life is so much more, beneath the surface. And Dave is passionate about helping you see life in its grand form. From life’s little problems to business success tips, politics, and the world’s biggest challenges, Dave wishes to awaken in you the drive to succeed.

    Dave Pamah’s show brings to you, explosive insights, fascinating tips, captivating interviews, mind-blowing discussions, unusual conversations, and just about everything that focused on you.

    The Dave Pamah Show connects you to the world through his interviews with International Athletes, High-profile brands, Celebrity Hollywood Stars, Entertainers, Entrepreneurs, Life Coaches, Leading Leadership Professionals, Pioneers, Political Experts, and just about anyone who is passionate about sharing with the world.

    Listen to Dave Pamah as he brings to your ear’s delightful experiences. Come away from every episode, transformed, invigorated, and energized to live life to the fullest.

    www.davepamah.com

  • Let Fall Bring Positive Change

    Let Fall Bring Positive Change

    Do you have anything that you wish you would just go away…some extra pounds, a toxic relationship, a debt, or other nuisance? Consider using the changing of the seasons to aid you in making long overdue life changes. As the leaves fall and turn different colors, you can let things go that no longer serve you. Don’t wait until the New Year when now is a powerful time energetically for transformation.

    Metaphors are potent for putting things in perspective. For example, visualize a backpack full of all the extra things that you no longer want to carry around. What are they? Be specific about what you want to let go of or change.

    Now put the backpack on and feel the weight of it on your back and how much it weighs you down, makes you feel sluggish, and/or adds anxiety. Now put the backpack down! You are lighter and more carefree.

    Why have you been carrying it around? How has it been serving you? People don’t do things that don’t serve them on some level, so figure out how these things have served you in the past at low levels or in unhealthy ways.

    What are the consequences if you keep carrying the backpack around? How can you get rid of the backpack…drop it off a cliff, send it to outer space, explode it into a million pieces? Image it gone, and breathe a sigh of relief as a result of your decision to let it go.

    If letting go creates a void, list any and all ideas you have for activities or other ways to get the same needs met at higher levels. For me, when I get stressed or bored, I find myself staring into the refrigerator to eat mindlessly. Instead, now I pre-schedule ways to manage stress through exercise and plan for a nourishing protein shake right after my workout to feed my muscles and not my emotions.  On a daily basis, it’s not fun for me to exercise alone because I’ve identified that I’m a social exerciser. Because of this, I line up workout buddies at scheduled times to make sure I stay accountable and enjoy the process. As we exercise we also attempt to solve the worlds problems (ya right!) so it can also be therapeutic.

    Fall is a good time to identify the things you want to let go, forgive, and heal in order to grow and move to the next level.

  • What do you want to be known for?

    What do you want to be known for?

    What do you want to be known for?
    By Chandra Lynn

    One of my brilliant friends and Glow Circles member Tara Callahan asked me what I want people to understand about my efforts with Glow Living. When I started to explain my intentions, she stopped my long-winded answer and said, “no tell me in 5 words!” Hmmmmm. After some thought, I said I want to…

    “Inspire people to love life.”
     
    LoveLife-Button-v17Sitting with this intention, however, I felt an internal struggle because the truth is that I don’t always love life. Sometimes, life is really hard and there are challenges and losses that make me wonder if I’m a good person to represent someone who loves life. I decided that this IS the reason why I am the exact right person!
     
    I’ve been prone to depressive thoughts, and although I have a lot to be grateful for, I been known to fall into the trap of focusing on the negative. Until now, I never focused on finding ways to increase my upper limits for feeling joy about my life and experiences. 
     
    I didn’t always know how to manage my emotions well, so I sought training on emotional mastery. I now practice effective techniques, and consistently rebalance my energy through a blend of healthy activities such as exercise, yoga, meditation, journaling, talking with friends, good sleep, and more. There is no simple way to do it. It’s about learning how to place more protective boundaries and practicing diligent self-care…things that are especially hard for amiable personalities that want to help others. Through Glow Living, I will share what works for me and bring in experts to help with this.
     
    Today, this post is about aligning with what you want to be known for, and being able to articulate it succinctly. Go to the Personal Growth Forum to share what you want to be known for and see if you can boil it down to 5 words!

    About Tara Callahan:

    tara“I wanna make people laugh,” states Tara Callahan when asked about what she wants to be known for. Check out Tara’s YouTube videos that are sure to bring smiles, and subscribe to show your support. 

     

  • Consistency is Everything When Training

    Consistency is Everything When Training

    Consistency Is Everything When Training
    By Chandra Lynn 

    IMG_3457A couple years ago I started tracking my workout using the bodybuilding.com body face app and recently I realized I only had tracked 300 workouts! Of course it doesn’t count all the times taking walks or attending yoga classes but it does show me that I’ve been fairly consistent with my routine and, as a result, I feel like my body has really changed. Because we’re with ourselves every day it’s often hard to know how much our body is changing. That’s why it’s important to create benchmark and track your progress. Some people take photos, measurements for see how their clothes are fitting and what size they’re wearing. Another measurement is just to check in with yourself and see how you feel.

    Are you giving yourself credit for all the work that you done?
    Are you proud of yourself for the effort in the consistency?
    Or do negative thoughts come up about how much more you should be doing?

    Regardless of whether you worked out once in a week or seven times a week, consistency in working out is what’s important. It’s a commitment to fitness for health and longevity. Of course there’s motivating factors in terms of how we look at our genes and how other people see us, or even how we see ourselves we look in a mere. But when it really comes down to it health is the number one priority because without it we don’t have anything to give out.

    IMG_4698Have you ever felt really unmotivated to go work out and then you push yourself through it and realize how great it’s out afterwards? Remembering how great it out can often be a motivator to go back in and push past the feelings of the motive a fan or anticipation of pain. Of course working out should never actually bring you real physical pain, it’s just that sometimes to really get full benefits of exercise you have to push yourself to your limit in a safe way. And doing that can feel uncomfortable.

    For me I have to push myself through H.I.I.T. training. Some people absolutely love to push themselves to their peak heart rate but for me its highly uncomfortable, and I don’t look forward to it. Of course, afterwards, I feel fantastic and super proud of myself for doing it, and I know that it’s the key to my results. So there are times that we have to push past our fear of discomfort and inadequacies in order to be consistent and align with our commitment to our fitness goals.

    IMG_3505Have you ever taken a weekend off are gone on vacation and found it really hard to get active again even after a successful run? The key is to just get right back to it and after a couple days you’ll feel like you’re back in swing of things. Don’t put it off anymore because it’ll just make it harder to get back to where you were and move beyond any plateaus. If you put it off, you may find that your thoughts turn negative and you start feeling bad about yourself and feel discouraged. I find that it’s best for me not to go more than two days without an working out but everybody’s different so you have to find the limit for yourself.

    I’m going to leave you with a meme that is one of the biggest motivators that I have ever seen. Which old person would you rather be? Now get to work! ; )

    IMG_3511