Glow Living

Category: All

  • Why am I here?

    Why am I here?

     By Ravisankar Nadiyam
    A Student of Life (and Glow Circles Member)

    raviIs there a purpose to life? I used to think that I am here for something and finding that out is my journey. This thought started off when I observed the differences between people and thought to myself – Why does one person have two healthy feet while one is lame? Why does one person travel in a car while the other sits by the roadside and begs? Why are we all different?

    Since I could not find that out, I thought of finding out why I was the way I was. My mother is religious and my dad is spiritual. I spent a lot of my childhood with my maternal family who were all religious. My Dad never objected to anyone going to a temple though he did ask why one had to go to the temple. His rules for living are (1) do not hurt anyone intentionally (2) do good to others if you can and are able (3) do what your heart tells you to do (4) take responsibility for all your actions and it’s results. Come to think of it, I did not get it until a few years back. I spent a lot of my childhood with my grandmother and the maternal family in general and the answer to any question that I had was the same – it was god. But I could not accept that god will make a person unhappy or punish a person for doing something wrong. I was told that god is everything and in all of us. So I questioned why I was being reprimanded for something I did ‘wrong’ according to the elders if it was in fact god that was doing this. If god is in me and in everyone, how can something someone does be wrong? Well, my grandmother thought that I was weird. So you see, my search for the answers and to know the purpose of life started early.

    Later on, a thought crossed my mind, my constantly day dreaming mind! Since we always consider anything that we do as a means to an end or as the process to achieve something, that is why I wanted to know the purpose – the end – the destination. That’s the time I started reading or meeting people who were talking things like ‘living in the moment’, ‘enjoy the journey’ etc. This is something that I did notice – that my though process would draw me to people or books that are related to the thoughts of that time. Is that manifestation?

    During a period in my journey, I was introduced to the concept of nirvana and related to that was also the concept of re-birth or reincarnation. I was told about the journey of the soul and that made sense to me at that time and answered my question about why we are all different and some seem to be happier than others. (Journey of the Soul is addressed as a separate blog) Then, for a while, I got hooked on the concept of nirvana – that the purpose of the life here is to find nirvana, to go back to the bliss where one came from. It also tied in with karma, reincarnation, keeping accounts of the deeds done over several births etc. This was also the time that I got back in touch with meditation. I had felt right from my childhood that what I need to do is to meditate. And then it was frustrating that I was not doing that. It really was. Something like people wanting to exercise and then feeling bad that they are not doing any exercise. It became even more frustrating as this was what I was to do to attain nirvana fast, right?! Anyway, I got into meditating regularly early in ’10. (My Meditation experiences are in a separate blog.)

    This was the period that I also got introduced to what is generally called ‘new age spiritualism’. I was going berserk looking for the purpose as more and more angles, let us call it dimensions (as it is a better sounding new agey word!) started to appear. The galactic federation, plaeidians, syrians (not from the Country by that name but from the star sirus) , rainbow children, Enki, Enlil, Nibiru, etc were everyday terms at that time. This went on for many years. I met many people around the globe who thought on the same lines. Some of these people had all these thoughts in their head and had not had anyone to talk to. They felt good to know that there were others who believed them as they had never read or seen any videos or had any other exposure other than having these thoughts in their head. Now, that I found really interesting and gave my beliefs a great level of legitimacy. The more I researched into Atlantis, the pyramids, ancient cultures of the Incas and the Mayans; and add to that my existing belief in life outside of Earth and that there was more than what our brains can perceive, this was becoming hugely complex and truly mind-boggling. So much so that at one point I said to myself that I need to accept that there is no way I will get to the bottom of all this and that I need to simplify my existence to what the human brain can fathom. I decided that indeed there is a great design and probably a designer in action but that I need to dig deeper into myself and not look externally.

    About Ravisankar Nadiyam

    Having started the search to find answers from a very early age, Ravisankar – Ravi to friends – now says, “I don’t want to know all the answers as I am the answer and the questioner”. His self-exploratory journey inwards was helped by his travels to over 40 Countries. He loves connecting with as many people and places as possible. With a keen eye for photography, this ex-sales manager of an American corporation loves writing and feels that he connects energetically with whoever reads what he writes. He understands that his is not the only perspective on any subject and is curious to know what your take on the subject is. Write to him at inhalexhale2012@gmail.com.

    For more posts by Ravi, visit https://ravisankardotin.wordpress.com/

  • Journey Through Menopause

    Journey Through Menopause

    By Glow Living Member Natalie Nickel Kavanaugh

    Recently when opening Facebook, a memory came up from 2009. I posted that I had gained 15 lbs seemingly overnight. Even though I wasn’t doing anything differently, I suddenly had a muffin top and couldn’t button my jeans. I was 46 years so I thought middle age. Ugh, middle age. Along with the weight gain, I started to experience severe anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia. I made an appointment with my GP to discuss the anxiety and he recommended I see a shrink. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and during my first visit, he diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and prescribed an antidepressant for anxiety and a benzodiazepine for insomnia. I left his office thinking, ok, now I know what is wrong with me. I have a mental disorder.

    I didn’t advertise that I was on psych meds. People were being prescribed antidepressants left and right but I felt embarrassed. They did seem to help. I felt less anxiety and slept better. Although, I continued to gain weight and it was all in my stomach. There were days when my stomach was so bloated, I looked 5 months pregnant. During my annual Advanced Gynecology appointment I told my doctor about my symptoms and she said I was probably in perimenopause, the gradual transition when the ovaries begin to make less estrogen. I took the FSH blood test and yes, my estrogen levels were low. I was on the journey through menopause and it could take years.

    I asked my mom about menopause and she said it was no big deal. She had a hysterectomy, went on hormone replacement, and was just fine. My sisters are a decade older than me so I asked them. Neither one had a problem. None of my friends my age seemed to be suffering. Each woman experiences different symptoms. Some have no symptoms at all. I seemed to have every symptom. I grew up thinking that when we go through menopause, we dry up like raisins, put on our elastic waist pants, let our hair go gray and stop wearing makeup. Although my mom said it was no big deal, that is precisely what she did. It was the end of her sexuality. I still felt young and sexy and had a daughter in kindergarten. I didn’t want that to happen to me.

    I plodded along for several years feeling pretty much awful but telling myself that this is what happens to every woman. Oddly every post-menopausal woman I talked to about it didn’t seem to have much advice. Others didn’t want to talk about it. I even had a female coworker make a snide remark about another female coworker who was suffering through the transition. Rather than it be a right of passage that we all support each other through, it seemed like it was a taboo topic. Perhaps that was just the women I talked to but even my ob/gyn seemed uncomfortable. I could tell she just didn’t know what to say, as if its all just a mystery. She did tell me she watched a businesswoman, a CEO, fall apart. Oh great, I thought. Even the powerful get taken out by this. Weight gain, irritability, depression, anxiety, peeing when you laugh or cough (incontinence), hot flashes and night sweats, heart palpitations, memory issues – PMS on steroids – that could potentially last years.

    The hot flashes started in 2014. I had heard about them but didn’t really know what to expect. I didn’t glow and flush, I turned bright red and sweat would drip down my face. I would wake up every night at 3 am sopping wet and cold. On top of that, I started experiencing memory lapses and would forget what I was saying mid-sentence. I was achy and bloated and miserable. I was interviewing for a job at the time. I remember being in an interview when a bead of sweat rolled down the side of my cheek. I didn’t get that job or any other job during that time. It’s like I had a flashing sign over my head that said “Menopausal Woman”. My last period was epic. I had an ovarian cyst that burst and the pain was excruciating. My lady parts decided to end with an explosion. Fitting for the five-year build up.

    I tried black cohosh, flaxseed, herbal teas, and acupuncture. I practiced yoga, meditated, walked, and swam. I used clary sage, peppermint oil, lavender, geranium, basil, and ylang-ylang. I carried crystals. They helped somewhat but not completely. I was still very symptomatic even after my period ended in 2014. For two more years I suffered. Finally, last December 2016, I decided I needed to try a different approach. I was still taking antidepressants and benzos. They were prescribed, I did not abuse them. After a while, though they tend to stop working because our bodies build up resistance and, to top it off, we become physically addicted to them. I certainly did not want to take a higher dose which is what my doctor suggested. I was also drinking more wine than ever. The vicious circle of feeling horrible, drinking, taking psych meds, and feeling horrible again was taking over my life. All of it had to stop. I started the new year by cleansing my body of everything. I weaned myself off of the psych meds which was very difficult. I quit drinking. I quit coffee as well. I didn’t sleep for weeks but I was determined to get all the toxic substances out of my body. I started taking D3, Magnesium, and B12. As suddenly as the weight came on, it melted off. I lost 27 lbs in 3 months.

    All the symptoms melted away as well except for the hot flashes and night sweats. I tried to cope with the hot flashes but my quality of life was pretty bad. Dripping sweat all the time is not fun! I went on a very low-dose birth control pill that I take every other day. It is a combo of estrogen and progestin. Bioidenticals don’t work for me because they contain soy and I can’t take soy. Now, apart from the pill, I am off meds and alcohol and have cut back considerably on caffeine. It is wonderful. I feel like I have my life back! People tell me how great I look. I feel like I made it through to the other side and am able to tell women about it. I wish I had known all of the things I know now before the journey began. When our bodies go through this change, we have to be kind to ourselves and our bodies, almost as if we are pregnant. Beer, wine, and cocktails are empty calories and can actually slow down our metabolism. I’m sure my evening vino was wreaking havoc, making me bloated and the hot flashes worse. Alcohol and coffee can add to irritability, anxiety, anger, rage, and depression. Even two glasses or two cups of coffee per day can be too much. I’m sure an occasional glass or cup is fine, but I feel so great I decided to stop indefinitely. Taking psych meds can be helpful but add their own level of problems if we are addictive personalities. Doctors should be aware and careful when prescribing. Our bodies are changing, hormone levels are changing. Substances can add to everything getting out of balance.

    Women need to embrace this time. We need to talk to each other and compare notes. It’s a different experience for all of us but we can learn from each other. It’s not the end of our womanhood, it’s the beginning of the second half of our lives. We are breaking free of the bondage of periods and worrying about getting pregnant. It’s a time to rejoice! We don’t have to get old and dry up like raisins and it’s certainly not a mental disorder. I look forward to a time when menopausal and post-menopausal women are revered. We are incredibly strong and wise and sexy. I’m even thinking of letting my hair go gray. Elastic waist pants? Only if they are yoga pants.

    Namaste

  • When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side

    When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side

    When You Feel Pulled to the Dark Side
    By Chandra Lynn

    I remember a time when I was having a particularly difficult time processing a breakup and I went to see a therapist. I went in telling him all the things I did to make the relationship work and all the things I was going to do to heal myself. And in the way that therapists do, he looked at me and asked “what would happen if you just stopped and did nothing?” The prospect of not doing anything didn’t feel comfortable at all and the question actually infuriated me. I was looking for answers and solutions, not to not do anything! depression

    Decades later, I became friends with my yoga teacher and she said she noticed I was fidgety in the mediation part of the class and I acknowledged that it wasn’t my favorite part. I suppose I’m a “doer”. Well I’ve come to the conclusion now that I don’t like how it feels when I just sit with myself. My thoughts aren’t always empowering and my emotions can turn dark like a storm that blows in unexpectedly. The dark side has always had a magnetic pull that I’ve tried to resist.

    Today, someone asked if its possible that I’ve been silently or unknowingly battling depression all of my life. Looking back, I suppose its possible. And its possible that I am still reckoning with it, but its been such a familiar state that I don’t know the difference. My life has been a quest for tools and strategies to manage this state as positively as possible. I have not mastered it entirely, but if you can relate, I have some very powerful tools to share with you that can certainly help without prescription drugs. Boy do I wish I could just pop a pill every day and feel like this is the most amazing life ever lived, but I’m resistant to doing that because of the chemical dependency and side effects.

    Through Glow Living, I will describe all the things that have worked for me and that I’ve learned from others about emotional mastery, managing thoughts, self-love, and being the best person you can be in relationships with others. Join me on this journey by following my posts and sharing your experiences.

  • Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life

    Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life

    Using Your Yoga Mat as a Microcosm for Life
    By Chandra Lynn

    It’s hard to begin to describe what yoga means to me but I’ll start by saying that your teacher is everything. I did yoga for years as a physical practice to learn how to stretch and stay limber. Little did I know it could be so much more! About ten years ago, I joined a fancy schmancy health club as a gift to myself after having a baby, and to give me extra motivation to get my butt down to the gym. The gift I gave to myself began to unfold in a surprising way when I walked into Kristen Dessange’s Affirmations Yoga class.

    IMG_6666 copy
    Kristen Dessange – King Dancer Pose

    I attended Kristen’s class three times per week and it was like I found my church! Who knew I could find it outside of an actual yoga studio?! Kristen is special and I wish I could share her with you (and I hope to by integrating her wisdom into some of my posts and maybe convincing her to let me interview her for you). She is unique because she eloquently delivers themes to support the unfolding of the heart (and hamstrings!) to women and men that are “householder” yogis, not the kind of practitioners you’d find oming on mountaintops. Everyone can relate to her themes because they are universally experienced, while being so personal in how they affect you in class. She is an expert at alignment and sequencing, and weaving in impactful, non-religious spiritual truths from a variety of sources including science like biology and astronomy, hindu mythology, paganism, astrology and so much more. I really could go on and on about Kristen but the point is not to give up on yoga if the classes you’ve taken haven’t been right for you. Try more teachers.

    mermaidbw
    Chandra Lynn – Mermaid Pose

    Yoga has made me more flexible in my body and in the way I approach challenges that come up in my life. Yogi’s have to be flexible on and off the mat, and Kristen has taught me to do more than that. She’s taught me to use the yoga mat as a safe place to explore how I am with myself when challenged. Your experience on your mat is a microcosm for how you experience life. For example, if the teacher puts you in a bound pose where its hard to breath and it challenges your flexibility to reach around to take the bind, what do you say to yourself? Are you kind to yourself? Do you push yourself to achieve it at any costs (even risk getting hurt)? Do you call yourself names or compare yourself to someone better than you? Have you ever experienced those same feelings in other situations in your life outside of class? This is what yoga is about. Getting to know yourself in the safety of a class with a supportive teacher will help you understand that you were born perfect and still are!

    When asked why she calls her style Affirmations Yoga, Kristen says, “For me, to affirm something first requires an awareness and acknowledgment of what is. This is the first benefit of yoga. The practice reconnects you back into yourself and your life.  Once we have tapped back into what is, we have a window of opportunity to realize that we are co-creating with our life. This awakening to the empowered self must come from our sovereign, authentic essence – our soul. When we tap into our soul, we reconnect back into the universal spirit of life. This is what I affirm- the full spectrum of living from your authentic self- as collaborative participation with Spirit while embodied. To affirm the fullness of LIFE means that you affirm your full SELF. It is not a Pollyanna approach to life, instead it is the full on embrace of all this you are and all that is as a way to co-participate with consciousness.  That is the yoga. There is no sugar-coating it. Can we fully embrace and participate with all the flavors of life as a collaborator with it? Can we dive fully into the joy, sorrow, passion and pain? This life is not something to hide from or deny. It is the very gift of embodiment and eminence that our soul longs to live. We are meant to live this live fully, as ourselves completely, with no holding back. This is the full gift of yoga.”

    I have a lot of posts planned for learning more about how certain yoga principles can transform your life. Stay tuned to learn how to root to rise and ground down into what you’re certain about to grow and handle changes that are inevitable in life. I also plan to write about how yoga helped me process grief from the loss of two best friends and my step mom. And just wait until I tell you about my Shakti Sisters, a group of the most inspiring women I’ve ever met that have turned into my chosen family, a real sisterhood!

  • Make It Happen!

    Make It Happen!

    ACTION! – FORWARD MOMENTUM – NEW BEGINNINGS

    Happy Spring! Can you see the stirrings of new growth in nature? The seeds germinated during the Winter fallow period and are now cracking open with seedlings bursting forth. This is the energy of new beginnings and the perfect time to take the first steps towards your goals.

    In January, we planted the seeds of inspiration, and in February we imagined manifesting them as though they were part of our lives. Now, March is the time to take action and leverage this time of year to benefit from being in rhythm with nature.

    Through this month on Glow’s social channels, we are posting reminders to #MakeItHappen.

    March is a time of the archetype of the Warrior/Warrioress. This means that it’s the perfect time of year to take action and progress towards your goals.

    I invite you to break down the next steps towards your most meaningful goals, and start checking off the boxes. If you feel any apprehension, observe it and stay in a state of wonder about why it came up. Sometimes, fears and doubts arise as we embark on new things. Just acknowledge them and focus on all of the reasons why you want the end result of the goals you’ve set out.

    Next month will be the month of the Lover archetype and it will be time to continue to manifest your desires,  and take time for self-care and embodied pleasures to reward yourself for going for your goals.

    I invite you to do these steps:

    1) Decide on the first goal you’d like to commit to.

    2) Write a list of steps necessary to accomplish it. Chunk it up so that its doable and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to complete it.

    2) Journal around any fears and doubts that come up. Acknowledge them and write down your motivations to push past them. Review them as resistance arises.

    3) Take the first step or two, and give yourself some kind of reward that will keep you motivated.

    Make it happen & love life!

  • Imagine what you want to attract into your life

    Imagine what you want to attract into your life

    IMAGINATION – DREAMS – INTUITION

    In January, I posted 31 pictures about what inspires me and asked what inspires you. I believe your inspirations illuminate your path. If we go towards our inspirations, our positive energy increases and we can begin to attract more inspiration.

    This month, we take the next step and start imagining the things we want as if they are already part of our lives. This brings them closer to us and helps us manifest them.

    When I get busy, I don’t spend time encouraging my imagination. I’m more focused on checking off boxes on my To Do list. Taking time to imagine what it would look and feel like to have what I seek is what helps me decide on what I want and what goals to prioritize.

    I set clear goals and prioritize them. After that, my To Do lists get more clear about what to focus on. In some cases, I have been able to remove things after reprioritizing and realizing they are not important to me anymore.

    February is a time of the archetype of the Mystic. This means that it’s the perfect time of year to begin to imagine what you want, and bring your goals into focus.

    I invite you to spend time thinking about how they would impact your life. If they are worthy of setting intentions and goals around. I encourage you to journal or talk to a friend about what would change in your life. Focus on how it would feel, what problems would be solved, and what you are willing to do to attain them.

    Next month will be the month of the Warriors archetype and it will be time to put all of this inspiration and imagination into action to start manifesting them.

     

     I invite you to do these 3 steps:

    1) Imagine what you want for yourself this year.

    2) Journal about it to make it as real as possible and talk to friends about it.

    3) Pick 2-3 that you’d like to set as goals for next month.

     

    Use your imagination & love life!

  • Defining Your Road Map To Success

    Defining Your Road Map To Success

    Defining Your Road Map To Success
    By Chandra Lynn as Published in I Am Entertainment Magazine mic

    Imagine singing in front of an arena full of adoring, screaming fans, and feeling the high that comes from being center stage. Then, imagine going from the stage to your own luxury tour bus and hearing nothing but the hum of wheels on the road and feeling severely lonely and unsatisfied with life. This happened to a friend of mine who called me after a sold-out show.

    Despite achieving “legendary rock star” status, he was still not satisfied with his life, even though others perceived it as the kind of success that dreams are made of. Why? For one thing, people define success differently. We may think he has it all, but those things didn’t fulfill his true inner desires and human needs. For many, success is achieving fame and fortune, but for some it’s simply getting through a single day without a drop of alcohol, while others may see success as contributing on a global level by headlining a benefit concert. The truth is that most people really don’t know what would make them deeply satisfied…even when they’ve achieved levels of success that they thought would be enough. little-boy-playing-electric-guitar

    As children, we define what we do and don’t want for our lives based on our role models and experiences while growing up. Every situation gets filed under “Yes, I want that” or “No, I don’t want that”, which creates a subconscious road map for our lives. However, it is full of conflict because we can file multiple things that don’t work together in the same place. For example: my friend determined he wanted to be a touring musician and also wanted a wife and kids, placing him in a double-bind. While on the road, it was hard for him to find a suitable wife, but once he found a wife and had children he was challenged by the amount of touring that was required to be successful because it took him away from his family.

    By the time we are adults, its common to feel frustrated by all of the challenges in life, which often leads us to feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. If you feel this way now, it may seem like external circumstances are to blame, but consider the possibility that your conflicts are coming from your own “map”. This is good news because it means that although your current life conditions don’t sync with your map, you can change it. How? Change your life conditions or change your roadmap.guitar-player-on-road-v2

    My friend was able to do this successfully by deciding that creating a family and being present with them was more important than touring so he began composing and recording new material in a home studio. If you feel stuck with your current life conditions, change your roadmap with these steps (ideally after doing some physical activity that puts you in an energized, positive state):

    1. Think back to yourself as a child and recall any visions you had for your life. Write them out in as much detail as you can. What did you want to be when you grew up? Where did you want to live and in what kind of place? Did you want a romantic partnership and to become a parent?

    2. Ask yourself, does your childhood vision match what you want from your adult view of life? If so, why? How does it serve your current needs?

    3. If you determine the childhood vision does not serve you anymore, recognize that you need to replace it with a new adult vision based on how much you have grown.

    4. To create a new vision, take some time to visualize how you can spend the rest of your life happy with what you have achieved. What do you need to be deeply fulfilled and utterly satisfied?

    5. Connect this vision to a higher purpose. Why does this direction make you happy? Who does it serve? What does it tell you about who you are and what you’ve contributed? What do you want to be remembered for?

    6. Consider any conflicts that may exist with your current life conditions, and determine which direction will give you a healthier and more successful end result.

    7. Write out your new vision based on this new understanding, and be as specific as possible. AmericaRoute(bl)After this, you will have a fairly clear vision, but you still need a clear roadmap.

    When you live by a subconscious road map, it’s like driving from California to New York with only a vague sense of how to get there and why you even wanted to go there in the first place. An effective roadmap involves an integrated plan that is broken down into seven core areas of your life: spirituality, physical body, emotions & meaning, relationships, time, work & career, and finances.

    To begin this process, expand your vision to include what you want to achieve in each of these areas; list out the actions you can take in each of the areas to realize your visions; set reasonable expectations for when to achieve them; and start taking action. You don’t have to live your life by default. There are a lot of things you can control to create the level of success that truly meets your needs. Aligning with your higher purpose (why you were created) and creating a healthy life vision and roadmap will send you down the path of living out your highest potential.

  • Getting Unstuck

    Getting Unstuck

    Why We Get Stuck and How to Get Unstuck

    I recently attended Gabby Bernstein’s book launch event at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. At the end, people lined up to ask her questions. It was fascinating to hear what they needed. Most wanted to share a life problem and ask for advice on how to get unstuck.

    Listening to them made me think about where I feel stuck in my own life—and how I might help others move forward.

    Common Reasons We Get Stuck

    We get stuck for many reasons, but three stand out the most:

    1. We can’t see the forest through the trees. Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us see our situation more clearly.

    2. It’s scary to change. Even if our current situation isn’t ideal, it may serve us in some way. In addition, we fear the unknown. What if change makes things worse?

    3. We’re in a double bind. This means we feel “damned if we do, damned if we don’t,” which can make any decision feel impossible.

    Techniques to Get Unstuck

    Here are six strategies you can try to break free:

    1. Face the Fear of Change

    Play out the fear all the way to the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself—Is it really that bad? Can anything good come from it? If you find some positives, move toward them. Even a small step forward can boost your courage and create momentum.

    2. Look at the Cost of Staying Stuck

    Consider what happens if nothing changes. Who might get hurt? How bad could it get? Sometimes we can tolerate our own dissatisfaction, but what if staying stuck impacts someone you love? As a result, recognizing the ripple effect may give you the push to act.

    3. Listen to Someone Who Loves You

    Imagine what a person who truly wants the best for you would say. Often, we treat ourselves less kindly than we treat others. Therefore, hearing that supportive voice—whether real or imagined—can guide you toward a healthier choice.

    4. Examine How Your Situation Meets Your Needs

    Even difficult situations can meet emotional needs—just at low levels. Because of that, we often settle for “good enough” instead of going after what truly fulfills us. However, raising your standards almost always leads to growth, for yourself and others.

    5. Commit to Growth

    If you believe that “if you’re not growing, you’re dying (inside),” then challenge yourself to try something new. You may feel afraid, yet you can always adjust later. In addition, taking action builds confidence, regardless of the outcome.

    6. Look for the Life Lesson

    Ask yourself if this situation holds a lesson you’re ready to learn. If you delay making a choice, the Universe often makes it for you—and that can be much harder. Problems tend to repeat until we face them head-on. As a result, choosing your own path often gives you more control and peace of mind.

    Final Thoughts on Getting Unstuck

    Being stuck can feel heavy, frustrating, and lonely. However, you have more tools and choices than you may realize. By exploring these strategies, you can move toward a life that feels authentic and aligned.

    About the Author:
    Chandra Lynn is a certified transformation coach, speaker, and founder of Glow Living. She’s the author of Root-to-Rise: How to Love Life, a soulful personal growth guide to help people navigate emotional hurdles, life transitions, and personal reinvention. Through her coaching programs and writing, she empowers women to reconnect with their authentic selves and rise with purpose.

    Learn more about Root-to-Rise and get your copy here.

  • When was your last “happy dance”?

    When was your last “happy dance”?

    When was the last time you did a “happy dance”?

    If it’s been a while, you may be limiting your joy. There are a lot of reasons why we place limits on expressing our joy, and most of the time, we don’t even know we are doing it.

    If you can relate to this and crave the feeling that comes from dancing like no one is watching, it may be worth looking at it more closely. Here are two big areas that may be holding you back…

    1. Who are you spending the majority of your time with, and is there any reason why being happy around them feels uncomfortable? For example, if you are partnered with someone going through a hard time or illness, it may seem insensitive to express happiness about things in your life.

    In this case, talk to them about it because it could be feeding into a cycle of them, in turn, not wanting to show happiness around you for the same reasons. See if there is a possibility that you can make a pact to consciously show more joy and happiness to raise each other’s vibrations.

    2. Do you take time to stop and celebrate the successes in your life? We can place a lot of demands on ourselves and feel like our To Do lists are as long as Santa’s scroll. When overwhelmed, checking one box doesn’t seem like enough to stop and celebrate. However, many things on that list deserve to be acknowledged or celebrated when accomplished.

    Consider whether some of the things on your list are worthy of a reward and determine it in advance. Make sure to give yourself the reward when you accomplish it, and tell your partner or a friend to help celebrate it with you or make sure you do.

    You deserve to celebrate how awesome you are! Figure out what you deem worthy of placing special emphasis on and make it happen. Don’t wait around for someone to reward you. Reward yourself and be your own best friend!

  • Lacking Inspiration to Meet Your Goals?

    Lacking Inspiration to Meet Your Goals?

    INSPIRATION – INCREASED ENERGY – VISION

    Honestly, 2020 exhausted me and I took a welcomed break to celebrate the holidays. However, I started to dread New Years because I wanted to feel refreshed, optimistic, and motivated to reach for new roles and rise up, and just didn’t feel inspired.

    Like gratitude, inspiration can requires time and energy to focus on it. To illuminate my path for the New Year, I created 31 images with what inspires me and am sharing one each day on my social media. This is reconnecting me with my inspirations and also helping to inspire others.

    If you’re feeling low energy, I invite you to follow my social and engage around what inspires you. This will help you to become clear on what you want to attract in 2021. Together, we can amass a list of inspirations that helps us individually and raises the vibes of our collective community.

    I also invite you to consider that Winter is a fallow period. This means that we can plant seeds of intention now.  You will need to have patience to wait for them to germinate and sprout in the Spring.

    January is a time of the archetype of the Visionary.  If you’re feeling foggy about what you want to create this year, its okay and the perfect time to allow for new visions to come in for increased clarity.

    Note that I said “allow” and not “force” which leads to confusion, frustration and more fogginess. Allowing means asking yourself questions and listening/seeing what comes up from the standpoint of an observer. Don’t judge them yet, just allow them to flow. Journal them out.

    Once you’ve documented all of your visions, then you can weigh out the pros and cons, and create an action plan.

     

    I invite you to do these 3 steps:

    1) Identify your inspirations.

    2) Allow for new visions and journal about them by asking yourself what you want, why you want it, and what you are willing to do about it.

    3)Determine which visions you want to hold on to and which you want to let go of.

     

    Be inspirational & love life!

     

     

  • The #1 Google Search for New Years Is…

    The #1 Google Search for New Years Is…

    Guess what New Year’s resolution was the most searched on Google (per data company Quanti)? “Get Healthy” with over 62 million searches. 

    Whether it’s New Years or not, its always a good time to decide to “get healthy”. But what does that really mean? Most people think of it as losing weight. I invite you to consider that its much more.

    Here is a video that I recorded on how I define a healthy lifestyle in an integrated way that positively effects your body, mind and spirit through every day choices. If you want more, watch and then read on.

    To me, getting healthy is really about choosing to make health — mind, body and spirit — a priority in your lifestyle. I run two companies, have a young child, and am challenged with many of the same demands that people put in front of achieving their healthy lifestyle goals. The only difference between me and someone who isn’t healthy and wants to “get healthy” as a resolution is that I started my journey a long time ago with a simple decision to “just do it”…not with a diet or exercise program, but as the center to my entire lifestyle.

    I believe that I can not accomplish all that I do (and want to do) without the energy that can only be cultivated through daily behaviors that support my health. Its at the core of every decision I make…what I put in my mouth, how I exercise that day, what I buy for my home, what products I use on my body, what books I read, what people I hang around, what career goals I make, etc. If its not healthy for me in that moment or for my future self, the answer is likely NO (with the exception of some bubbles with friends to celebrate special life events).

    I want to live a long, happy fulfilled life, and age gracefully. I don’t want to be live with pain. And pain is exactly what I’ve seen in people that have not taken care of themselves. Pain comes in the form of cancer and other diseases or medical issues. It also comes in the form of mental and emotional anguish and suffering. One of my friends who is a hospice nurse told me that not living a healthy life is one of the leading regrets that people have in their final days.

    When I think back to times when I was a bit overweight or feeling sick, it scares me to think of going through that again. There have been times when I’ve beat myself up over being overweight and its damaged my self-esteem. It’s attracted the wrong people and held me back from reaching my full potential. Now, I focus on health and cultivating energy. My body is in balance so I can tackle difficult challenges and I’m less likely to feel depressed or suffer from body image problems. 

    No one wants to suffer, and having suffered in the past, I know it can be a big motivator for making changes. If you have the goal of getting healthy, I invite you to consider what life-long choices you can make for a healthier lifestyle…not just to look better, but to create balance; cultivate energy for tackling your bucket list;  contribute beyond yourself; and focus on other New Year’s Resolution search terms such as:

    • “Get Organized” – over 33 million searches
    • “Live Life to the Fullest” – nearly 19 million searches
    • “Learn New Hobbies” – over 17 million searches
    • “Spend Less/Save More” – nearly 16 million searches
    • “Travel” – nearly 6 million searches
    • “Read More” – over 4 million searches

    These resolutions sound so much better to me than going on some stupid diet! So, if you’re with me but not sure what to do, I can offer you some ideas based on what works for me. There are also a ton of coaches, trainers and pros in this field that you can hire to develop a starting point (I have a few I can recommend). I think there is probably more information on the internet and in the library on this topic than just about anything else. So the info is out there. The next step is trying something and then course correcting. I’ve tried all kinds of things and am constantly dialing in what works for me. Make a commitment to try new things and see what works, even if some things fail. Failure is just an opportunity to learn, so its okay to fail as long as you course correct and focus on perseverance and grit. You’re choosing this for the rest of your life, not just a 12-week “transformation challenge” so be patient and compassionate with yourself.

    In a nutshell, I’m currently following the IIFYM macros calculator by tracking my food on MyFitnessPal, not eating flour or sugar (including alcohol), and working out 5x/week by combining weights, yoga and HIIT training. That can sound severe to some people but I’ve worked up to doing this after years of training. Start with something you can succeed with.

    To learn more about the tools that work for me, check out these articles:

    Health & Fitness Tools – Part 1: Bodybuilding.com & BodySpace
    Health & Fitness Tools – Part 2: Calories & Macros

    Another piece of advice is to NEVER apologize for self-care and prioritizing health over other things. I’ve had friends who have been given a hard time by their partners for “working out too much” or “always being on a diet”. This is unacceptable to me in a partnership because taking care of yourself is like putting your life mask on before putting i on someone else. You have to be in good health to have the energy to help others. Its that simple. If your partner wants more of your time and energy, that’s important to look at and prioritize them by giving them more quality time, but don’t cut off your lifeline to the very thing that makes you attractive…your vitality! You deserve to prioritize yourself first, and that means managing stress and other physical and emotional challenges in a productive and healthy way. 

    Can you see I’m passionate about this subject? I am and that’s why more and more of the content I develop is going to be around defining and living a healthy lifestyle. If you have questions, ideas or topics you’d like me to explore, please let me know. What works works for you? Please share any tips.

    I want the best for you and to see you grow old in a healthy, happy way with me, and for the ones you love!!

  • The 51% Rule

    The 51% Rule

    The 51% Rule – Boundaries are Your Friend

    By Chandra Lynn

    A friend reminded me today of my 51% rule. Have you ever felt like you are doing more to help your partner then they are to help themselves? Sometimes it just seems easier to take control and get things done on your own than ask your partner to do their part. And they may be completely happy with having you take care of business. But after all while, you may find that you lead in all ways in the relationship, and start feeling overwhelmed and tired of being the one to handle everything.

    To prevent this from happening, I recommend each partner agree to carry A MINIMUM OF 51% of the work load on their end. When someone is doing AT LEAST 51% of the work for their own life, things will stay more balanced. Helping somebody with 49% of their work is still a lot when it comes to managing someone else’s stuff. I could even argue that is too high of a percentage. However, if someone needs you to help them with an area of their life, and you are feeling happy to do it, consider making sure they understand that you will only take on a maximum of 49% of the tasks that need to be accomplished.

    I learned this the hard way. I saw a former partner struggling with his career, so I jumped into immediate action. Being a fledgling marketing consultant, I was actually excited to put my skills to work for him. Without him asking me, I built him all the marketing materials that he needed to present himself in a more professional way. At the end of it, he was grateful but didn’t really leverage it to the extent that I had hoped. I could see that the struggles in his career had more to do with his ambition then it had to do with his ability to present him self in a professional way. As a result, even with the new materials, he did not apply himself, and I felt like all the work I did to support him was for nothing. I distinctly remember going to a diner and telling him that I needed to see him doing at least 51% of the work to reach his goals for his life. And, I would be happy to do whatever I could to support him, but I needed to see him applying himself more than I was putting in to help him.

    Jumping in to help a partner is a noble thing, but I can also enable bad behavior in your partner. There is nothing wrong with being supportive, but you have to be careful with behaviors that lead them to where you think is best for them before they have even asked for help.

    The friend who reminded me of this was looking back at her life and realizing that she has always done the majority of the work in the relationship, and her partner was happy to have her do it. However, he started taking advantage of the fact that she provided so much with little appreciation or awareness of the effort involved.

    If you feel overwhelmed with all that you have to do for yourself, your partner, your kids and other people in your life, ask yourself whether you feel your partner is stepping up to their full potential and supporting you in the way that you need them to. If they’re not and you’re enabling them to kick back, please consider that your standards are not high enough for yourself in terms of expecting a partner to do their share. Ask specifically for what you need from them, and make sure you get their agreement before creating new expectations that they will deliver.

    Everyone needs to feel useful, needed, purposeful and that they bring value to a relationship. This post is to remind you that you can do this by supporting your partner and those around you, as long as you set healthy boundaries and set reasonable expectations with your partner to do a minimum of 51% of the work in their own life.